Declutter Your Life: Reduce Your Risk | Heather Aardema

[00:00:00] Heather Aardema: We will buy these things with hours of our lives and store them, and they never see the light of day. So ask yourself, “Do I want to keep storing things in my storage unit or in my house? Or can I allow these things to move on to the next person who will actually embrace them, cherish them, use them, and love them?”

[00:00:22] I believe life is lighter when we don't have a tight grip on our things. It's a more abundant mindset when we know that all of this is just an exchange of energy. What kind of energy do you want in your home? I choose light. Light, light, light. Let go of the things that have that low-vibrational feel, and keep the things that have that high-vibrational feel.

[00:00:43] You'll feel better, you'll be healthier, and probably happier.

[00:00:48] Dr. Z: Hey, friends. This is Dr. Eric Zielinski. Most people just call me Dr. Z. Welcome to the Natural Living Family Podcast, where faith and practical Christian living come together. Each day, I share a Bible Health devotional to build up your faith and give you simple steps for abundant living. Each week, I sit down with experts, thought leaders, and Christian influencers to bring clarity to today's most pressing health issues.

[00:01:10] Together we'll uncover Biblical wisdom and practical tools to help you and your family escape the confusion of this toxic world and walk in the abundant life God has promised. This isn't about chasing trends or doing it all. It's about renewing your mind, rejecting broken systems, and embracing God's design for healing and wholeness.

[00:01:31] The truth is God has a beautiful plan for your life, and yes, your health matters to Him. Are you ready to get started? Awesome. Let's dive in.

[00:01:40] Today I have the joy of introducing you to a guest that I've known for several years whose message has brought freedom and peace to thousands of people searching for balance in an overwhelmed world. Heather Aardema is a board-certified health coach, behavior change expert, and the founder of the School of Living Lighter.

[00:01:59] She helps people clear the clutter out of their homes, hearts, and minds so they can focus on what truly matters. In today's episode, we're exploring the surprising connection between clutter, stress, and heart health, and how the weight of your surroundings can quietly fuel inflammation, fatigue, and anxiety.

[00:02:19] You'll learn how excess clutter, both physical and digital, raises stress hormones linked to heart disease and how to quickly identify what in your life feels light and life-giving versus heavy and draining. Heather will also share her simple one-hour-a-week rhythm for creating calm, plus practical, grace-filled steps to declutter your home, your schedule, and your soul.

[00:02:40] Her approach is gentle but powerful, rooted in science, anchored in hope, and proven to help you reclaim peace, order, and joy. So grab a notebook, take a deep breath, and get ready for a refreshing conversation that might just change the way you look at everything around you. Here's my good friend Heather Aardema.

[00:03:00] Heather, thanks so much for being here with us today. Super excited.

[00:03:04] Heather Aardema: I'm excited as well. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:03:08] Dr. Z: I just want to say that I love you. I absolutely love you as a friend, as a person, and as a colleague. We've developed such a sweet relationship over the last few years, so I'm sending you a big virtual hug.

[00:03:19] I wanted to begin this whole experience with love. Let's invite love and friendship into this discussion.

[00:03:26] Heather Aardema: I just want to say, “I receive.”

[00:03:28] I receive, and thank you so much. When somebody offers a gift, the natural inclination is often to say, “Oh, no. Oh, no.”

[00:03:36] I just want to say that not accepting a gift can be clutter, in a sense. I receive. Thank you so much for your kind words. I love you too.

[00:03:46] Dr. Z: Folks, this is going to be a different kind of talk. Everything we do here is evidence-based. It is based on facts, tradition, and the most cutting-edge research.

[00:03:58] I want to impress upon everyone the significant health risks associated with clutter, including forms of clutter you may not have considered. It is

[00:04:09] not just that stack of papers in the corner. There is so much more to it, and I have the decluttering expert you need to hear from, with a very heart-focused

[00:04:19] approach. I hope you feel a lighter aspect to this conversation, because everything Heather does is about making things lighter. This is not scripted, Heather. I have a lot of things I want to talk about.

[00:04:31] I want to pick your brain in a way I have not before. It is kind of neat being on this side of the microphone. We have talked as friends and colleagues, but I have some other thoughts I want to bring to the table. How do you want to begin?

[00:04:44] You brought up that clutter is not just a pile of papers. It is so much more, and I think that is where we should start.

[00:04:52] I like to think of clutter as anything that gets between where we are and where we want to be.

[00:04:59] Hmm.

[00:05:00] Heather Aardema: I like to think of clutter as the distractions that act as obstacles to leaning into our true selves. They put us on autopilot. Many of us will be so distracted that, before we know it, we have lived our lives and have regrets.

[00:05:28] That is what I am here to do: help people realize what the distractions are so there is less and less regret.

[00:05:37] Eric, have you heard of Bronnie Ware?

[00:05:39] Dr. Z: No, I haven't.

[00:05:40] Heather Aardema: Bronnie Ware was a palliative care nurse in Australia who spent 20 years with people in their final weeks of life. She listened to their stories.

[00:05:56] She heard common themes from all of these people. The number-one regret of the dying was, “I did not live a life that was true to myself.” Other regrets included losing touch with friends and not sharing their feelings.

[00:06:23] Dr. Z: Wow.

[00:06:24] Heather Aardema: To me, clutter is what gets between where we are and the lives we have the potential to live. If we can get off autopilot and live intentionally, I think there will be much less regret at the end of our days.

[00:06:45] Dr. Z: Amen. I want to unpack that in just a second.

[00:06:50] In the meantime, I want to show you something. What we're looking at is recent research, along with an evaluation of the research from Psychology Today, connecting clutter with cortisol and mental load.

[00:07:08] In the context of heart attack and stroke prevention and recovery, and in the context of chronic disease, cortisol is something we need to be careful of. It is the stress hormone.

[00:07:19] Heather Aardema: Yeah

[00:07:20] Dr. Z: I want us to unpack this because we have some pointed facts that we all need to be aware of, especially women watching or listening. Studies have shown spikes in cortisol related to the perception of clutter in the home. That

[00:07:37] is before we even unpack clutter of the spirit, clutter of the mind, and other concepts. Clutter can be very abstract.

[00:07:48] It is what Heather just shared. Women appear to be affected more than men, and I would love for you to address that. Why might women and men experience this differently?

[00:07:57] Women are also more likely to feel that they carry the burden of fixing

[00:08:02] Heather Aardema: Yes.

[00:08:02] Dr. Z: it. I hope everyone leaves this conversation feeling lighter and feeling that they have a guide.

[00:08:13] Heather, here is my challenge to you. Yes, I want to stimulate everyone's cortex. I want everyone to have those “wow” and “aha” moments. We all love the light bulb turning on. But what is the point if we do not know what to do? One thing I have tried my best to do during the last 10 years online is give people practical how-to steps: “This is the problem, and here is the solution.” My challenge to you is to

[00:08:23] give people some really good action steps before they leave.

[00:08:41] I want them to be able to say, “Okay, I know what to do now.” I love the next-step mentality, followed by what to do two, three, or four steps down the line.

[00:08:48] Let's unpack cortisol and why women

[00:08:52] Heather Aardema: Yeah,

[00:08:53] Dr. Z: may be affected differently. I would love for you to teach. I do not want to interrupt you. Go as long as you want.

[00:08:57] Educate us on this.

[00:08:59] Heather Aardema: This is such an important topic. There is both a physiology and a psychology to clutter. The Psychology Today article you pulled up referenced ethnographic research conducted in California.

[00:09:14] What the study found was that when people perceived clutter, their cortisol, the stress hormone, went through the roof.

[00:09:29] The language corresponding with those cortisol spikes included phrases such as, “My house is cluttered,” “My house has a lot of projects that are not done,” “It feels chaotic,” and “It feels heavy.” The perception was key.

[00:09:52] Some men also perceived clutter and had similar cortisol spikes. In general, however, women were much more likely to perceive the clutter.

[00:10:04] There can also be societal factors at

[00:10:08] Dr. Z: Mm-hmm.

[00:10:08] Mm-hmm.

[00:10:09] Heather Aardema: work. Up until the 1950s and 1960s, it was traditionally the woman's job to stay home and maintain the house, so some of that expectation remains. In my own house, I care more about the appearance than my two young sons or my husband. If somebody is going to drop by, I want to make sure things look decent.

[00:10:32] Dr. Z: Mm-hmm.

[00:10:33] Heather Aardema: I think a lot of women have similar thoughts. Even though the state of your home is neutral, we create a story and meaning out of it.

[00:10:49] The meaning I create is, “If I have an orderly home, then all is well. But if I have a disheveled home, that means there is a lot of chaos.” Usually, the way a home looks is also a mirror image of what is going on inside the mind.

[00:11:11] Dr. Z: That makes me think about what may be going on in the minds of people who hoard. We have a close family friend with a pathological hoarding condition.

[00:11:19] There is literally a two-foot pathway through the living room because everything is stacked to the ceiling. It is that severe.

[00:11:26] They never invite people into their home because there is no room for guests. That brings up a whole other topic. Are you saying the surroundings project onto the brain?

[00:11:39] Heather Aardema: Absolutely. People with hoarding disorder should work with a mental health professional. It is very serious.

[00:11:46] But many of us are in this middle ground.

[00:11:48] Dr. Z: Mm-hmm.

[00:11:48] Heather Aardema: There are many of us in the middle ground. We are not hoarders, but we have a lot of stuff, and that stuff can feel heavy. Any time you notice that heavy feeling in your body, think about the physiology.

[00:12:04] Think about the physiology. That is your cortisol. When we feel heavy, we do not tend to make decisions that serve us.

[00:12:13] I mentioned that there is also a psychology to clutter. Let's say I come home, open the door, and there are things everywhere. I am more likely to go into the kitchen and find a bowl of ice cream or something unhealthy than I am to get my dog and take a walk.

[00:12:34] If the house is clean and serene when I come home, it feels light, and I am more likely to do something that benefits my health and well-being.

[00:12:44] Clutter absolutely impacts our decision-making. There was an interesting study in which half the participants worked in a clean office and half worked in a messy office. Upon leaving, they were offered either a candy bar or an apple as an incentive. The real question was which one they would choose.

[00:13:08] If you worked in the clean office, you were twice as likely to choose the apple over the candy bar. Our surroundings affect our decision-making, and we are usually not even aware of it.

[00:13:22] They absolutely impact how we show up for ourselves. It's a big deal.

[00:13:28] Dr. Z: That makes me think about my life before I became a Christian. I do not know if I have told you this, but I have been a Christian for 22 years. Before that, I lived a very reckless and unhealthy life. I was self-medicating depression and struggling with suicidal thoughts and anxiety.

[00:13:44] I was a chain smoker for five years, a borderline alcoholic through my teens and early twenties, and I abused narcotics such as cocaine and other drugs. I do not remember a lot of that time. There were blackouts.

[00:14:06] I vividly remember being on the porch of the house I was renting, completely hungover from the night before, feeling miserable, and lighting a cigarette while thinking, “This is not good for me.”

[00:14:26] I do not know why I had that lucid moment. Cancer did not necessarily worry me, but I knew this was not good for my health. I remember thinking, “Who cares? It does not matter.”

[00:14:37] The self-loathing was almost like punishment, and it was very subconscious. I realized that I had already hurt myself the night before, and now I was doing it again.

[00:14:53] It was self-loathing that perpetuated the behavior. I resonate so much with the research you just shared because positive breeds positive, and negative breeds negative.

[00:15:10] That is how we are hardwired. Maybe you can relate to overdoing it during the holidays, feeling overfull after a gluttonous moment, and then waking up the next day feeling

[00:15:25] awful. Then we may eat something unhealthy, skip the gym, and neglect the self-care

[00:15:33] we know we need. But once you flip the script, darkness can turn to light. I had my pivotal spiritual moment when I realized, “I can change this.” I had felt like I could

[00:15:43] not. There was something about my surroundings and everything you are saying that resonates with me. My friends, the people I was with, and my surroundings all perpetuated darkness and death.

[00:15:58] Once I flipped the script and God helped me see the light, everything began perpetuating light. I realized, “Light breeds light. Positive breeds positive.” That makes sense to me, and I want to challenge everybody.

[00:16:14] When was the last time you did something you knew was not good because of the situation you were in? Did you choose the candy bar when you were in a very stressful, cluttered physical or emotional moment? Also think about the times when the opposite was

[00:16:34] true. Heather, is there a tip or two for shifting that? What do you have to do? Is it literally moving one piece of paper into its proper place?

[00:16:47] Heather Aardema: Yeah.

[00:16:48] Dr. Z: What is the tipping point? There has to be a moment.

[00:16:51] Heather Aardema: Absolutely. What you are describing is a net negative.

[00:16:54] You go on a bender and then shame yourself afterward. That is two negatives. In reality, you had some drinks, and that is the fact of it.

[00:17:05] You can look at that moment and shame yourself, which will often lead to more drinking. Or you can say, “I am human, I am ready for something different, and I want to open the door to possibility.”

[00:17:18] I stopped drinking nine or 10 years ago. I realized that alcohol was clutter in my body. I did not like how I felt after drinking it. I told myself, “Heather, you drank enough in the first half of your life to last the rest of your life. You are good.”

[00:17:34] It was easy for me to let go of alcohol, which I do not think benefits many people, if anyone.

[00:17:40] It was easy for me because I told myself, “I am complete. My life is complete. I do not need any more alcohol. I can let this go.”

[00:17:50] That felt so much lighter. Since I stopped drinking, I have put my foot in my mouth much less. There are so many other benefits, and I have never once regretted not drinking.

[00:18:02] Drinking is neutral in the sense that I am not judging anyone. Everybody gets to make their own decision.

[00:18:08] We just talked about the net negative, which is mind clutter. We do something and then feel embarrassed or ashamed. That embarrassment and shame become clutter.

[00:18:17] They are not useful or helpful unless they wake us up to the realization that things can be different and that, if we show up differently, we will have new opportunities.

[00:18:30] So where do we start when it comes to physical, tangible clutter?

[00:18:37] Dr. Z: Hey, friend, real quick. If you have been listening and thinking, “I want to live this way, but I need help,” that is exactly why we created the Bible Health Academy. It is our monthly mentorship and training hub, packed with Bible Health solutions, non-toxic living strategies, and the like-minded community you need to walk in the abundant life God designed for you.

[00:18:57] Whether you are brand-new to natural living or ready to go deeper, this is where transformation happens from the inside out. Visit BibleHealthAcademy.com to learn more. We hope you will join us.

[00:19:09] Heather Aardema: I like to say that the best place to start is before you start. What often

[00:19:15] happens is that we start decluttering, move things from one room to another, feel that the job is too big, and stop. Then we shame ourselves.

[00:19:23] There is that net negative again. We tell ourselves, “I could not keep going. I will never get this done.”

[00:19:29] Before we begin, we need to get to the root cause of why we have clutter.

[00:19:35] Ask yourself: Why do I have clutter? What was my childhood like? What relationship did my parents have with things? Was I allowed to have my own things? Did I move often? Did my belongings become my friends? Did I name them?

[00:19:49] As an adult, if you have named your things, it will be much harder to let them go because they have become your friends. Before actively decluttering, we want to get to the root cause: Why do I have clutter?

[00:20:03] One of my favorite exercises may sound a little corny, but it is so powerful.

[00:20:10] Write yourself a letter that begins, “Dear Heather, I am Clutter, and this is what I want you to know.”

[00:20:19] Then put pen or pencil to paper. It is better not to type it. Just let everything come out.

[00:20:27] Writing this letter can be so cathartic. People send me their letters.

[00:20:32] Dr. Z: Mm-hmm.

[00:20:32] Heather Aardema: They are rich with meaning. The letter usually contains permission to move forward in a new way.

[00:20:41] It gives you permission to move forward without judgment, shame, or embarrassment, and to make sustainable progress as you truly begin to lighten your home.

[00:20:52] When we lighten our homes, we lighten our hearts and communities, and we can shine brighter and brighter.

[00:21:01] Number one, get to the root cause. Spend 30 minutes on it. People often have so much fun with this, Eric, that they spend an hour or two. It is an act of creation.

[00:21:11] So often, we do not ask ourselves what matters most or what is most important to us. We think about other people and what matters most to them.

[00:21:19] Writing this letter is an opportunity to get to know yourself better, understand why you have shown up the way you have, and move forward from a clean and creative place.

[00:21:33] Dr. Z: We are linking this to heart disease, stroke, and heart attack. The linchpin is the fact that perception matters, and this is where my mind was blown.

[00:21:52] As my father has always told me, “Perception is reality.”

[00:21:58] Heather Aardema: Yeah.

[00:22:00] Dr. Z: That applies to every aspect of life. If you perceive clutter in your life, whether emotional, mental, or physical, it matters. We are going to focus heavily on the physical aspect because it is probably the easiest to address.

[00:22:11] Emotional and spiritual clutter can take time, and you might need a professional to guide you. Physical clutter, however, can often be addressed by getting to the root cause and taking steps to clear things up. I do not want to use the wrong terminology here.

[00:22:26] Not all clutter is dirty.

[00:22:29] Heather Aardema: Right.

[00:22:29] Dr. Z: I want to respect that and be sensitive with my words. When we look at cortisol and the perception of clutter, here is the list

[00:22:39] of concerns. High blood pressure, cardiovascular events, plaque buildup, blood clotting, and unhealthy behaviors. Raised cortisol has been associated with a 90% increase in cardiovascular events.

[00:22:53] What is interesting is the way people under stress can fall into self-loathing. I would describe it as punishment and regret.

[00:23:03] It is a double-negative, net-negative mindset in which you feel undeserving. We somehow convince ourselves that a little high, a spike of sugar, or something similar can get us through the moment.

[00:23:18] These unhealthy attitudes grow out of constant, low-level stress, and that is where I want to pause. This is not necessarily a dramatic

[00:23:27] moment when you walk in the door and everything has fallen

[00:23:33] apart. It takes time for clutter to build. You do not wake up one day with a cluttered house. It develops slowly, and it can also take time to undo.

[00:23:49] As a cluttered life slowly develops over months or years, there can be a constant, low-grade level of cortisol. That is why I wanted to feature you in this discussion about heart attack and stroke.

[00:24:06] Sometimes the first symptom of a heart problem is a heart attack, and by then you are too late to focus on prevention. These risks build over time.

[00:24:15] People discuss phthalates, heavy metals, pesticides, and the physical chemicals around us that can contribute to stress. Now we are adding another layer that many people have not considered.

[00:24:34] The reality is that little microstress moments can be constant, whether in your car, home, or office.

[00:24:44] What can people do to feel like they have achieved a big win? I would love for someone to walk away saying, “This is what I need to do now.”

[00:24:54] Do you go project by project? How do you begin decluttering?

[00:25:04] Heather Aardema: There are definitely some dos and don'ts.

[00:25:07] Some people may disagree, and this can become a little contentious. A very popular decluttering expert recommends going category by category.

[00:25:17] As I say this, imagine what is happening to the nervous system. Let's use clothing as the category.

[00:25:23] Let's say you take all the clothes in your home and put them on your bed. You have spent an hour gathering them, and now you are looking at a mound of clothing and feeling overwhelmed. You may

[00:25:37] feel, “Oh my gosh, I am exhausted and fatigued, and I have not even begun.” That mound of clothes may stay there for months. Some people do not return to sleeping in their own bed because they do not know what to do

[00:25:52] with it. If we think about decluttering from a nervous-system perspective, we do not want to go category by category. Most of us cannot tolerate that. It is too hard, and the job feels too big.

[00:26:04] Instead, research related to something called the “progress principle” suggests going room by room, from easiest to hardest, beginning with the most lived-in spaces.

[00:26:17] The progress principle tells us that when we make a little progress, we see it, get excited, and keep going. That is the recommendation for most people.

[00:26:27] Some people have a nervous system that can tolerate a mound of clothing on the bed. It is no problem. It is a weekend project, they declutter, and they are happy.

[00:26:36] For most of us, that mound of clothing is so overwhelming that we shut the door and avoid the bedroom. Some people even end up sleeping on the couch because they do not know what to do next.

[00:26:45] I do not want that to happen to anybody. Instead, start with the low-hanging fruit, get some wins, and keep going. That is where you start.

[00:26:55] Dr. Z: Once you build those muscles, and these really are muscles…

[00:26:58] Heather Aardema: Yes.

[00:26:59] Dr. Z: …that we need to strengthen, I want to encourage people. I recently faced one of those proverbial situations where I thought, “Wow, I have a lot to do. This is overwhelming.”

[00:27:10] I flipped the script in my head pretty quickly and celebrated each individual microstep. It was a longer project, but it got done. I treated it like chopping down a tree: celebrate the first proper strike of the ax.

[00:27:28] Heather Aardema: Yes.

[00:27:28] Dr. Z: That would have overwhelmed me years ago. Now I have developed these decluttering muscles. The same principle applies to work, emotional work, and spiritual work.

[00:27:41] When you have a monumental task, start with the lowest-hanging fruit.

[00:27:49] I have been saying that for many years. I always go back to the cherry-tree example. My boys, my daughter Bella, and I would pick the cherries from a huge tree at my in-laws' home every summer when visiting family in Michigan. It was overwhelming.

[00:28:05] There were thousands and thousands of cherries. You start with the low-hanging fruit. You do not even get the stepladder, six-foot ladder, or extension ladder. You pick what you can reach from the ground and celebrate when that is done.

[00:28:18] Then get the little three-foot stepladder, followed by the bigger ladder, and eventually climb the tree. The next thing you know, it is done.

[00:28:25] Heather Aardema: Exactly. It is about the little steps. Breaking the project down makes it much easier.

[00:28:30] Here is another tip: If you can help it, do not touch the items. Touching things can create an emotional connection.

[00:28:38] Dr. Z: Hmm.

[00:28:38] Heather Aardema: That makes them harder to

[00:28:40] release. If you need to handle the items, try wearing a pair of thin gloves. That can interrupt the emotional connection.

[00:28:45] Dr. Z: Hmm.

[00:28:46] Heather Aardema: Very powerful. People also say to me, “What if I do not know whether I should keep something?”

[00:28:53] A cluttered home does not necessarily mean a dirty home. It may simply mean there is a lot of stuff, including things you do not want but find hard to release.

[00:29:03] Here is a simple but powerful question to ask when looking at something: “Does this feel light or heavy?”

[00:29:13] If it feels light, it is right, and you keep it. If it feels heavy, that is your answer. There is a story attached to

[00:29:20] it. You can get curious about that story. For example, perhaps your grandparents or parents passed away……

[00:29:25] and now you have many of their things. You know what you like and what you do not like.

[00:29:31] When we inherit a household of belongings, there may be very few things we actually like. We keep the things that feel light, but the others can be difficult to release because of the story: “That was my mom's,” or, “That was my grandpa's.” “

[00:29:47] They would be upset if I got rid of it” is a common thought. If something feels heavy, get curious. What is the story, and is it true?

[00:29:57] Would those people who passed away want me to feel stressed about getting rid of something I did not want? Would they want me to keep something of theirs that I did not like?

[00:30:10] Use that question as you declutter: Does it feel light or heavy? If it feels light, keep it. If it feels heavy, either modify it so you like it and it feels light, or donate it and let it go. Sometimes people ask, “What does light feel like?”

[00:30:26] Dr. Z: Mm-hmm.

[00:30:26] Heather Aardema: We are often disconnected from asking ourselves these kinds of questions. To me, light feels like a “heck yes,” and we know it immediately. Anything that is not a “heck yes” is a no.

[00:30:40] We can make it simple. As humans, we have a complexity bias, a natural tendency to make things more complicated than necessary.

[00:30:49] This question helps bring us back to our intuition so we can move forward in a way that feels light and right.

[00:30:59] In this way, decluttering, which feels heavy and hard to many people, can become fun. For me, it became one of the most important and meaningful projects of my adult life.

[00:31:14] Decluttering does not have to be annoying, hard, heavy, or simply something you have to do to feel healthier. It can become an experience, journey, and adventure that helps you experience more vibrancy than you can imagine.

[00:31:30] It can become one of the best decisions of our adult lives.

[00:31:34] Dr. Z: There is a Bible verse in the Book of Psalms. Psalm 34:14 says, “Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”

[00:31:44] I want to leave you with this thought. The lighter feeling you are describing is a peaceful feeling.

[00:31:52] As you are talking, I hope everyone is looking at their own life and remaining open. This can be an experiential discussion if we allow it to be while Heather is speaking.

[00:32:02] One area of clutter I struggle with is packing for a trip and selecting clothes. I relate to the challenge of making choices.

[00:32:17] Clothes selection is very hard for me, and I do not know why. A few years ago, I spent about two hours in a store trying to buy a pair of pants. It was paralysis by analysis.

[00:32:27] Yet I can make quick decisions in other areas. I relate to Steve Jobs and others who wore the same thing every day because it removed that clutter. As you talk, I think about this struggle in my own life, and I do not think it is going away.

[00:32:44] Thankfully, my solution has been my wife. Sabrina loves dressing me. If you see our pictures in the newsletter or on the website, you will notice that our family is often coordinated.

[00:32:59] That is Sabrina's thing. She loves being able to dress us all, and I am happy to let her do it for me. At first I fought it, but now I embrace it. When we are going on a trip, including an anniversary trip we have coming up, I know she will have my clothes picked out. All I have to do is fold and pack

[00:33:19] them. The feeling I get is in my gut. It is overwhelm, darkness, and anxiety.

[00:33:28] This is the heaviness Heather is talking about. When you are deciding whether to keep something, ask whether you have light and peace. Seek peace and pursue it.

[00:33:39] Anything that is not of peace is not from God. That comes from my spiritual background and Biblical teaching. Seek peace, and if there is no peace, let it go.

[00:33:50] Even when deciding whether to keep something, if there is anxiety, let it go. That is how I am interpreting what you are saying. If that is the case, you could move through things pretty quickly.

[00:34:02] If you feel what I call darkness and Heather calls heaviness, it is an unpleasant, visceral feeling.

[00:34:11] It is a physical feeling you can sense in the pit of your stomach and throughout your body because cortisol is part of the body's stress response.

[00:34:23] If you feel that, it can be a signal that you need help or support. Heather, talk to

[00:34:31] those who may be in denial. As we slowly land the plane here, imagine the pilot saying, “We are about half an hour away and beginning our descent.”

[00:34:41] Talk to people who may be in denial. How do they know whether they have a clutter problem?

[00:34:51] What are some red flags? How can people who may not recognize it begin to see it?

[00:34:56] Heather Aardema: Here is the thing: there is an equation that is out of balance.

[00:35:01] We have so much stuff coming into our homes and very little leaving. It makes sense

[00:35:08] that the balance gets disrupted. We live in a buy-now culture. Amazon and other companies make it very easy to buy with one click. We have been sold the idea that buying things will solve all our problems.

[00:35:21] I am not against buying things. I buy things every day. The problem is unintentional buying, buying on autopilot, or thinking, “I cannot sleep at two in the morning, so I will get on Amazon and buy something.”

[00:35:36] When we hit the “Buy Now” button, we get a dopamine hit that feels good in the moment. When the items arrive, we get another dopamine hit.

[00:35:45] We open the packages and it feels great. Then, one, two, or three weeks later, we look around and feel heavy.

[00:35:53] We realize we bought things we will never use. That feels heavy. We may not use 80% of what we own, and we can spend a year of our lives looking for things because we cannot find them.

[00:36:09] My first suggestion is to give yourself compassion. You are human.

[00:36:14] Dr. Z: Yep.

[00:36:15] Heather Aardema: Buy-now culture is real. Give yourself compassion. Then ask, “If I do not need something, do I need to buy it to feel better?”

[00:36:23] We use shopping as a buffer because we do not want to feel the uncomfortable emotion in front of us. For example, I played on a softball team

[00:36:36] growing up. If we won, we got ice cream. If we lost, guess what we did? We got ice cream. “You lost? That is awful. Let's fix it by getting ice cream.” The answer has always been, “You have a problem? Let's fix it by buying something.”

[00:36:52] What if, instead, we leaned into the discomfort of losing the softball game, became curious, and decided to practice harder or learn something new so we played better the next time?

[00:37:06] Number one: compassion.

[00:37:10] Number two: get curious about the potential in front of you. If you look to the right and left and it feels heavy, you may have clutter.

[00:37:19] Think about how you feel when you go on a trip, open the door to a nice hotel room, and walk in.

[00:37:28] You feel calm, serene, and peaceful. Hotel designers know what they are doing. There is no clutter.

[00:37:39] That peace is available to all of us if we get curious about the clutter in our lives. One of my clients created a fun acronym: POMO, the peace of missing out.

[00:37:53] It is the peace of not overfilling your calendar, not buying three when you only wanted one, and creating a spacious feeling even if you live in a small

[00:38:07] home. This peace is available to all of us and is the perfect antidote to FOMO, the fear of missing out, which advertising and marketing companies continually sell to us. Again, there

[00:38:18] is nothing wrong with buying things, but we can do it unintentionally. I am guilty too. When I was in my early twenties, I lived in an apartment.

[00:38:31] The washing machine was in a basement that felt unpleasant and scary. I did not want to go down there. Do you know what I did instead?

[00:38:39] Instead of washing my clothes, I drove to the store and bought another top to wear to work the next day.

[00:38:44] Dr. Z: No way.

[00:38:44] Heather Aardema: Yes. Buy-now culture. I have evolved since then, and I am so grateful my eyes have opened.

[00:38:54] This peace is available to all of us. Some call it JOMO, the joy of missing out, as an antidote to FOMO. For anyone wondering whether it can really make a difference, let me tell you about my mom.

[00:39:06] She is sweet, fun, and has always been a maximalist. She likes stuff, buying, and shopping. She also

[00:39:13] likes supporting her friends in a large art community. She once told me, “Heather, I kind of need my clutter so I can be creative.” That is a common

[00:39:25] belief. A lot of people say clutter helps them be creative. Research suggests you may be more creative when you are not overloading the optic nerve with distracting stuff.

[00:39:38] I told my mom, “Why do you not keep one corner of your house as your ‘clutter corner' for creativity, but let the rest of the house be calm and serene?”

[00:39:47] It absolutely affects our well-being.

[00:39:52] Dr. Z: You are painting a picture in the physical world that I think we can translate to the digital

[00:40:00] world. When you mentioned dopamine hits, I immediately thought of research showing how our brains respond to notifications, cell-phone alerts, devices, and social media.

[00:40:19] When you look at your screen, consider the clutter you see. Having 50 or 60 notifications from 50 or 60 apps is clutter.

[00:40:29] Every notification, text response, and social-media interaction can provide a dopamine hit and become addictive.

[00:40:39] I want to encourage everyone to declutter their phones and any other devices with notifications. Turn off all nonessential notifications. That was huge for me when I learned it several years ago. The only notifications I now consider necessary are from my messaging and phone apps. I keep notifications for phone calls and

[00:41:04] text messages, although I still receive plenty of spam. My phone is otherwise reserved primarily for friends and family, so those alerts matter to me.

[00:41:18] I want to know when friends and family reach out or someone calls. But when I look at my phone, I do not see email, Facebook, or other app notifications.

[00:41:28] When I go inside an app, I am giving that app permission to notify me. That was a big moment for me for many reasons. It helped me declutter my screen.

[00:41:38] Do you have any other tips about technology? It has become a major and often devious source of clutter because people may not recognize the problem until their whole world is wrapped up in a device.

[00:41:53] Heather Aardema: Yes. I love that you turn off your notifications, and I recommend it to everybody. Decide ahead of time what relationship you want with technology. Do you want to run your technology, or do you want your technology to run

[00:42:10] you? I do not look at email first thing in the morning because my inbox represents everybody else's priorities, not mine. Every morning, I first get clear on the three most important things I want to accomplish, experience, or put in motion

[00:42:27] that day. I think about those three most important things and what I need to do to move them forward. Then I go to email. We often think we must check email immediately simply because it is there, but we do not.

[00:42:40] We get to decide ahead of time what relationship we want with technology. I turn off all my notifications. It drives my husband and kids crazy, and they laugh that it is hard to get hold of Mom, but we reach each other when needed. Especially when I need to focus, everything goes off.

[00:43:02] When decluttering physical items, people often recommend taking a picture of everything so you still have the image. I have taken a few pictures, but have I ever gone back to look at pictures of things I released? Not once.

[00:43:16] We need to be aware of how much digital clutter we create. Again, perception matters. If it feels heavy, perhaps there is some cleaning up to do.

[00:43:28] Back to email. Some people pursue a goal called “inbox zero.” Have you heard of that?

[00:43:34] Dr. Z: Oh, I am that guy.

[00:43:35] Heather Aardema: Are you an inbox-zero person? Have you done that?

[00:43:38] Dr. Z: I have been living it. Based on what I understand, I am probably that guy.

[00:43:44] Heather Aardema: That is awesome. One of my friends, a digital decluttering expert, said something powerful that really resonated with me.

[00:43:51] She said, “Your email is not designed to be a storage unit.” Yet people use email as a storage unit and end up with 100,000 emails or more.

[00:44:02] Decide what relationship you want with email. Unsubscribing is always an option. The storage-unit analogy goes back to physical clutter.

[00:44:14] We buy things with hours of our lives, store them, and they never see the light of day. Ask yourself, “Do I want to keep storing things in my storage unit or house? Or can I allow them to move on to the next person who will embrace, cherish, use, and love them?”

[00:44:36] I believe life is lighter when we do not have a tight grip on our things. It is a more abundant mindset when we know that all of this is an exchange of energy. What kind of energy do you want in your home? I choose light. Let go of the things that have a low-vibrational feel and keep the things that have a high-vibrational feel.

[00:44:58] You will feel better, healthier, and probably happier.

[00:45:02] Dr. Z: I worked at Dow Chemical in a previous life, before moving to Georgia to study chiropractic. This was in 2007, 2008, and 2009. I received email-management training that was life-changing.

[00:45:17] Something that may resonate with everyone is that my inbox is my to-do list. At Dow Chemical, where we received massive amounts of email, they taught us to organize the inbox so that everything remaining there represented something that needed to be

[00:45:38] done. If you cannot get to something immediately, flag it as important so you know it must be handled within 24 or 48 hours. Once something is done, or if it does not require action, put it in a folder.

[00:45:54] The folder can function as an archive. It is no longer important or actionable. When you look at my inbox now, I typically have fewer than 25 to 50 emails.

[00:46:10] Everything else has been categorized. After doing this since around 2007, I rarely return to the emails I put in folders because they are done and checked off my list. If I ever need something, it is in the archive.

[00:46:28] When I open email and see only five, 10, 15, or at most 20 messages to handle, it makes maintenance much easier. If you are looking at 100,000 emails and thinking, “I could never do that,” you may need to start fresh.

[00:46:44] You may also need to spend time unsubscribing from a dozen or more newsletters, other than mine and Heather's, of course, because you need our newsletters. That is my shameless plug.

[00:46:54] That approach has been very helpful for me. My inbox functions as a to-do list, and I apply the same principle to physical paperwork. My physical to-do list is a small pile. It is my “clutter,” but it is also

[00:47:03] my to-do list. I keep it in a highly visible place because I dislike seeing it. Whether it is tax paperwork, business documents, bills, or anything else that must be handled promptly, it goes in that stack.

[00:47:28] It is front and center, and the discomfort motivates me to act quickly. I may procrastinate for a day or two, but I do not let it become a large stack because it is so visible.

[00:47:45] I do not want or need it there. Like my inbox, once it is done, I file it away. That has helped me prioritize what needs to be done now.

[00:47:54] If you have physical tasks that need attention, put the items in a place where seeing them will motivate you to act. Give yourself space and grace, but get them done.

[00:48:05] These little tricks began with that email training and have been helpful for me. I would love to hear what is working for everyone listening, so reach out to Heather and me. No one is immune to the clutter we are discussing,

[00:48:25] and we can learn from one another. Anything we can do in our home, heart, mind, or spirit to declutter and feel lighter can help our heart, body, and mind.

[00:48:39] Heather Aardema: That is beautiful. I love that you place the pile where you can see it and will not forget it.

[00:48:47] That is a powerful trick of the trade.

[00:48:51] Creating a small pile can be helpful, but we do not have to address it immediately. I have a term for this: I am a productive procrastinator.

[00:49:03] Dr. Z: Yep.

[00:49:04] I love it.

[00:49:04] Heather Aardema: Maybe I do not address the pile of papers immediately, but I am doing other things. While I do them, I am helping my nervous system reach a better place so that, when I return to the pile, I can handle it without becoming overwhelmed. For anyone watching or listening, avoid the

[00:49:19] net negative. Do not shame yourself because you did not take care of all the clutter immediately.

[00:49:26] Listen to your body. Ask how you are feeling and work on it when you feel solid and grounded. If you never feel solid or grounded, embrace nervous-system tools that help you reach a better place.

[00:49:41] One of my favorite things is changing my state for two minutes. I go outside, turn my face toward the sun, and take several good breaths. After about two minutes, I feel like I can tackle anything.

[00:49:53] It can be fun. Remember, decluttering and lightening our lives can be an adventure.

[00:50:01] I also recommend going on a treasure hunt. Instead of focusing on everything you need to release, find your favorite things and set them aside. That tells your subconscious brain you will not get rid of anything you might regret. Then begin decluttering.

[00:50:17] This really can become a beautiful experience.

[00:50:21] Dr. Z: I love this. Well done. Mission accomplished. You have clearly laid out a path to peace and lightness. Folks, this is a discussion you will want to hear again, and be sure to learn more from my dear friend Heather.

[00:50:38] Where should people go to learn more from you? Please also leave us with some parting thoughts.

[00:50:44] Heather Aardema: The School of Living Lighter. My website is SchoolofLivingLighter.com, and there are a number of resources available there. On

[00:50:51] Facebook, look for School of Living Lighter. On Instagram, I am Heather Aardema. Reach out anywhere on social media or through the website.

[00:51:02] I want you to know this lightness. It is available to all of us if we get curious. It is there for us, and it is worth caring about.

[00:51:11] Dr. Z: That is awesome. Thank you, Heather. I really appreciate you taking the time.

[00:51:14] I have learned a lot. I have some homework to do, and I am encouraged. I am going to grow, and I am making that commitment to you and everyone listening.

[00:51:21] I ask everyone listening to commit to me and to a loved one: “This is an area I want to work on.” Hold yourself accountable by saying it out loud, putting it out there, and asking someone to check in with you about the one or two things

[00:51:34] you are addressing. I have homework to do, and I am encouraged because we are going to make progress together. What an awesome conversation. I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did.

[00:51:43] As always, this is Dr. Eric Zielinski. My hope and prayer is that you and your family truly experience the abundant life. We will talk soon. Bye-bye.

[00:51:51] Thanks for listening to the Natural Living Family Podcast. I hope today's conversation encouraged and challenged you to live a healthier, more abundant life. Tune in next week for another life-transforming discussion. Remember, every morning you can join me here for Bible Health Daily, a short devotional from God's Word to build up your faith and give you simple steps for abundant living.

[00:52:10] If today's episode blessed you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. This helps more families discover the hope and healing found in God's Word. For show notes, transcripts, and resources from today's episode, visit NaturalLivingFamilyPodcast.com. As always, this is Dr. Z. My hope and prayer is that you and your family truly experience the abundant life.

[00:52:31] God bless. Talk to you soon.