Date Night: Why Intentional Time Matters | Dr. Z & Mama Z

[00:00:01] Dr. Z: Hey friends, this is Dr. Eric Zielinski. Most people just call me Dr. Z. Welcome to the Natural Living Family Podcast. 

[00:00:07] Together we’ll uncover biblical wisdom and practical tools to help you and your family escape the confusion of this toxic world and walk in the abundant life God has promised. This isn’t about chasing trends or doing it all. It’s about renewing your mind, rejecting broken systems, and embracing God’s design for healing and wholeness.

[00:00:28] The truth is God has a beautiful plan for your life, and yes, your health matters to Him. Are you ready to get started? Awesome. Let’s dive in.

[00:00:38] Hey, all super excited that Mama Z is here. Hey, babe.

[00:00:40] Mama Z: Hey, great to be back.

[00:00:42] Dr. Z: It’s been a little while. Uh, we did a podcast right before Mother’s Day and something special happened Mother’s Day.

[00:00:49] Mama Z: Yes. We have the blessing of Elizabeth Ann, our baby number seven on Mother’s Day Morning.

[00:00:55] Dr. Z: You know, so many people have reached out, been praying for you and been asking about you.

[00:01:00] Mama Z: Thank you.

[00:01:00] Dr. Z: A, A quick update for everybody.

[00:01:01] Mama Z: Yes. I’m getting back to normal. Of course, that all takes time. Always give yourself grace on that. But we’re running with our family. We’re back to doing a lot of those things and just, getting back to normal with our family of nine, seven kids.

[00:01:16] Dr. Z: Well, we’re super excited to get back into the groove here for the Natural Living Family Podcast. As a reminder, every Thursday we’re still gonna be featuring expert interviews from health experts and Christian influencers, all about natural living. And we actually have content already scheduled out through the end of the year, which is fun and exciting.

[00:01:32] And on Mondays we’re gonna be sharing some we hope, helpful little Bible health tips. And today is something that I really never thought I’d be talking about, ’cause I never thought it was an issue.

[00:01:44] And so if you haven’t, check us out on Instagram because we’ve really been touching some nerves on Instagram unintentionally, by the way. Like I’m not trying to offend people. We just did this post on marriage tips, ’cause you know, we’ve been married for 19 years and people have often asked us like, what do you do? 

[00:02:02] How have you kept your marriage strong over all these years? So we put out a post that went bonkers viral, and the one topic that I really thought was going to be encouraging to people and especially a challenge to men, ended up triggering a bunch of women, in a kind of weird, wild, angry way.

[00:02:22] So what topic are we gonna be talking about?

[00:02:26] Mama Z: Okay, so prioritize your time. AKA intentional time. AKA date night.

[00:02:33] Dr. Z: Alright, this is for married couples specifically.

[00:02:36] Yes. Or if you’re dating, whenever we get that, we get that. Date night is important for couples. If you’re single, then this is something for you to consider as well. Dating yourself, dating a friend. This is good stuff, because it’s absolutely important to prioritize the most important relationships in your life.

[00:02:55] But when I was looking at the comments, and please check it out. Check out the post. We’re going to put the link in the show notes.

[00:03:03] The thing that seemed to trigger most people were the preconceived notion of what a date night is. And most people had their minds made up that it was all about expensive dinners, restaurants, fancy clothes, babysitters, and lots and lots of money. That was a big thing. Just that assumption.

[00:03:25] The other thing that got people upset was, I have young kids. I can’t find babysitters. I don’t need dates, like they got offended. So let’s just kind of take a step back and remember like what Mama Z was sharing.

[00:03:38] This is about intentional time with the most important person in our life, right? So I wanna tackle each of these objections.

[00:03:45] First and foremost, let’s start with money. Because when we didn’t have two nickels to rub together when we are in school and on food stamps, we figured out ways of date night. And so you read a book on ideas and stuff, right?

[00:03:59] Mama Z: I did. I got a book back when there was a lot of bookstores and it was like a thousand ideas for a great date night. And it, it actually changed my mind. Because my parents always talked about dating your spouse, like that was a really important thing. And it gave a lot more ideas. Everything from, you know, staying at home ideas, to walks, and all these very creative ideas. I mean, there was a thousand there.

[00:04:24] So that kind of started and opened my mind to thinking about other things that were more about intentional time and prioritizing your time together with your spouse.

[00:04:35] Dr. Z: And that’s really what this is. Think outside the box, and maybe it’s the concept or the word date night that is restrictive for people because you don’t have to be doing anything at nighttime. It could be in the day. It could be in the morning, right?

[00:04:50] It is whatever works for you. And it should be fun. It should be exciting, it should be recharging. It should be a time when you’re not talking about money, finances, unless you wanna have like a business date, which we’ve done that. ‘Cause you know, we work on business together. But I wouldn’t consider that day night, per se. That’s more of like a business meeting, right?

[00:05:07] So maybe think about, this is about how I pour into my spouse. How do I pour into the most important person in my life? And it should be fun. Something that you both enjoy, at least to some extent, right? Because maybe we do things that our spouse likes to do that we don’t necessarily like to do, but we still do it ’cause they like it. And ultimately, that’s a way of showing love.

[00:05:28] There are no rules. That’s all we wanna share. So some of the things that we’ve done over the years, walk people through, ’cause you’ve really led the charge. And I’ll say this much, I’ll give Mama Z credit for like 90% of all of our dates. Scheduling everything, planning things, making it happen.

[00:05:45] And I’ve just always been a willing participant, like literally for almost every date night, I’ve always been like, okay. I’m here to help. I’m here to serve. What can I do? But you’ve always led that charge, so kudos to you.

[00:05:57] So walk us through some of the things. Let’s talk about money. Money saving, date night ideas.

[00:06:02] Mama Z: Yes. Okay. First of all, one of the ways that you can save money is by either connecting with a local gym, your church, getting involved in your mom co, in your area. Used to be called mops.

[00:06:16] Now it’s mom co. But they have, great chapters where you can bring your kids. There’s childcare and for people who don’t wanna bring their kids, they have sometimes morning and night meetings. So it’s very flexible.

[00:06:29] And they do date nights. scheduled date nights, sometimes just for the ladies to get out, and then also with your spouse. Some of the times, it’s where you drop your kids off. They have dinner and a movie there with other kids in multiple ages. And of course, whenever you’re in a church, gym, school setting, all of the people that help out with those things are all gonna be background checked. And so you can feel safe, doing such a thing.

[00:06:57] And It costs sometimes, you know, $5, 10, $20. Ours has like a maximum. So if you have as many kids as we have, then it only costs so much. And then once they get to a certain age, they can actually help. So then you’re not having a couple kids at home and a couple kids at church.

[00:07:13] So it really does work and tailor to your family, and it gives you that three, four hours where you are able to do whatever you want with your spouse. Whether it’s at home and you’re making food and, and doing something intentional there, or going somewhere, or going on a walk, or doing some other outside of the box thing where you’re spending intentional time together.

[00:07:37] Dr. Z new: Hey, friend, real quick, if you’ve been listening and thinking, I wanna live this way, but I need help, well, that’s exactly why we created the Bible Health Academy. It’s our monthly mentorship and training hub packed with Bible health solutions, non-toxic living strategies, and the like-minded community you need to walk in the abundant life God designed for you.

[00:07:57] Whether you’re brand new to natural living or ready to go deeper, this is where transformation happens from the inside out. Visit biblehealthacademy.com to learn more. We hope you’ll join us.

[00:08:09] Dr. Z: Well, it helps with the babysitter.

[00:08:10] So what happens after then once we drop off the kids? I’m thinking of one thing in particular we did, with a portable DVD player. So, you know, like where did you get that idea.

[00:08:21] Mama Z: Okay. So I thought if they were having pizza and a movie, I would then make pizza and bring a movie. So I got a movie that we hadn’t seen in a while that was a good kind of date night movie and a portable DVD player back in those days. And I made a pizza and put all the trimmings for a picnic in the car, and then we drove to a park.

[00:08:46] We put, the picnic blanket down. We had everything all set to go and our mini DVD player and we had dinner and a movie. And it was nothing outside of our normal budget whatsoever. And, um, probably should have, taken into consideration. There was lots of mosquitoes. So we did end up eating in the car that night.

[00:09:06] Dr. Z: And we had a baby too.

[00:09:07] Mama Z: We had a baby.

[00:09:08] Dr. Z: We actually had an infant.

[00:09:09] Mama Z: Yes. We had,

[00:09:09] Dr. Z: We just dropped off the toddler.

[00:09:10] Mama Z: Yes. Yeah. And so, we did end up eating in the car, but it was, the thought was there and that, you know, we were able to work from that.

[00:09:19] And so we’ve done, we’ve done picnics outside of the gardens, you know, botanical gardens close. There are parks around maybe not as safe and, they’ve let us just have a picnic right out in front of the gardens.

[00:09:31] So you can have picnics in a variety of places. Places that you would wanna go, and you can get creative with that.

[00:09:37] Dr. Z: Yeah, it could be all kinds of things. Again, you do what your budget can afford, of course. And one thing that we have found that is very affordable is local botanical gardens.

[00:09:46] You could usually get annual passes from 50 to a hundred dollars. That’s for the year. And for us, we like going to our gardens every month and it’s only like 75, 80 bucks a ticket. But big picture though, right? That ends up being less than $10 per visit. And it’s beautiful.

[00:10:02] We get away for two hours or so. We love the gardens. It changes throughout the years. The seasons change and you know, as our budget expands, we’re able to do things that cost a little more money. And then we could go, maybe do a local restaurant or whatever. If we didn’t have the cash, we would picnic.

[00:10:17] But the bottom line is be creative and there’s a lot of things that you could do together. And if you’re in your home, one of our favorite things is what?

[00:10:25] Mama Z: Um, date night at home. And so it does start later. You know, we put the kids to bed and then we start our date night, or if our oldest, or second oldest is here, then we put them in charge of that. And then they get, they get special, time where they get their devices while we’re doing our date night.

[00:10:43] And the kids actually get excited too because they get the leftovers. And so we’ve come up with some, some favorite things that we do that are, you know, a little bit over the top for us. You know, like we’ll still dress up and, i’ll have a nice dress on that I have in the closet.

[00:10:57] Dr. Z: You look good. You do!

[00:10:58] Mama Z: I have a couple favorite, um, dresses that,

[00:11:01] Dr. Z: that jazz in the background.

[00:11:03] Mama Z: Yep.

[00:11:03] Dr. Z: Candlelight.

[00:11:04] Mama Z: Absolutely. We’ve done…

[00:11:05] Dr. Z: We go all out.

[00:11:05] Mama Z: We go all out and, and we’ve taken pictures and posted them ’cause we’ll just make a variety of different things. And sometimes he helps me out in the kitchen and sometimes it’s just me. And, it makes it fun and it’s different. And even if you do have the finances though, I would suggest doing these at home dates, doing the picnics.

[00:11:25] Dr. Z: Yeah.

[00:11:25] Mama Z: Because it adds a different component and it does keep things fun as well.

[00:11:30] Dr. Z: Be creative. Again, date night doesn’t mean night. Lunch dates. Smoothies. Go to the juice bar.

[00:11:36] If you work, I used to do corporate, I would like to spend once in a while my lunch break out and we would just meet up, have a cup of coffee or tea. All that stuff counts and all that stuff adds up.

[00:11:45] And all those things, it is like a cumulative effect of prioritizing your spouse. In a way, like, you are important. And we’ve been doing this now, right? For 19 years and going back to the memories that we have.

[00:11:57] Some of our fondest memories are those that, at the time, seemed disastrous, like the picnic with all the mosquitoes, but we look back and we laugh about it because those were the cute moments.

[00:12:07] So, you mentioned the babysitter thing. this was the other big piece. Hey, we have seven kids. We live 800 miles away from our nearest family member. We’ve been living alone, family-less, for 16 years roughly. So we understand what it’s like. We understand what it’s like not having babysitters.

[00:12:27] And the key is you do what you can and you do what you can afford. But the reality is Mama Z has been actively recruiting babysitters for about 16 years now, and it always starts at church. So walk us through a little bit about how you actually find good babysitters, because it seems like, you know, teenage girls at church are the first place we go.

[00:12:47] Mama Z: Absolutely. And so when I go into the nursery and I see, you know, somebody that looks like a potential person, I’m looking for someone who’s gonna be in high school because they have high school, college breaks when they’re home, all that stuff. And they have a flexible schedule. And then they’re used to, you know, extracurricular activities and adding extra things to their schedule.

[00:13:11] So if they’ve gone above and beyond for the kids, or they’ve made sure that you know, with our special diet and the fact that we bring food and stuff like that, I’ve watched for those people who go above and beyond. And then I ask them, you know, Hey, do you ever, babysit or, do you ever plant sit?

[00:13:29] Usually I like to start ’em on the plants first because if they can make our plants live while we’re gone, then I know that they are really good. They’re really good quality for then, watching the kids on a more one-to-one basis instead of all the other people that are in the nursery.

[00:13:44] Dr. Z: Yeah. They kill our plants, you can’t necessarily trust them alone.

[00:13:48] Mama Z: Yeah. They’re gonna, they’re gonna be on their phone, they’re gonna be this or that.

[00:13:51] Dr. Z: Yeah, that’s right.

[00:13:51] Mama Z: And one, so I had somebody come up to me once and say, Hey, my daughter and her friends, they’re newly graduated from babysitting school. Would you take them on?

[00:14:01] I know that you do, volleyball in the neighborhood. If you wanna test them out on that, just to help give them some extra hours and stuff. And so I have taken people really from only changing the baby models in babysitting’s class to, you know, becoming full fledged babysitters.

[00:14:19] And so we just stayed home, or stayed closer to home and had them help. And it gave good baby steps too. So even if you have people who aren’t as experienced, you can make it what you wanna make it, and you can really try to get those people and nurture them.

[00:14:34] This is like my time to nurture those people because it turns them, and it helps them become good adults as well. Learning how to take on responsibilities.

[00:14:44] Dr. Z: Yep. You gotta be on the lookout. You have to let your needs be known. The people that run the nursery at church, I mean, you know, they’re typically women, talk to them. They’re, they’re professional adults, right? They’re running the nursery at church-

[00:14:58] Mama Z: mm-hmm.

[00:14:58] Dr. Z: -For crying out loud. They know the kids, they know the teenagers, they know the ones in the youth group go to the youth pastors. And, at least in Georgia, I was surprised, a lot of these kids are CPR certified. They go to babysitting school. They’re hustling, they’re trying to get a job.

[00:15:12] Mama Z: Oh yeah.

[00:15:12] Dr. Z: Oh, they want work.

[00:15:12] Mama Z: Oh yeah.

[00:15:13] Dr. Z: So you start with one, and then you also put it out there. And, and you take care of ’em. You pay them good. I mean, the ones that we’ve had, they stayed with us through college. I mean

[00:15:22] Mama Z: Right.

[00:15:22] Dr. Z: We’ve helped people and minister…

[00:15:24] Mama Z: They come back and visit us.

[00:15:25] Dr. Z: Oh, they’re so sweet

[00:15:26] Mama Z: just to come over and, yeah.

[00:15:28] And, and they know that I’ll always like fill their products, you know, that we make here. They’ll even bring their empty stuff. It’s great. So, they’re family. They are.

[00:15:36] And write a list. I write a. for them, you know, a checklist so that you wanna take all the guesswork out. And if you don’t say what your intentions are, then they don’t know, they can’t read your mind of what you normally do.

[00:15:48] And, and kids like a routine. So I write the whole routine down. And believe it or not, even the oldest kids, even when they’re young, they know how to tell people, this is not what my mommy and daddy do. And so, it gets people in a good routine and, and that helps.

[00:16:04] Dr. Z: Yep. Folks, yeah, that’s it. Other than to say, then you gotta do it. You gotta date your spouse.

[00:16:11] Make it a fun part of what you do and your regular routine. It’s, there’s no box to fit in. It’s not weekly, it’s not daily, it’s not monthly. It’s whatever you could do. We try to do something weekly together. We try to prioritize each other that way.

[00:16:25] We love going on group dates with our friends, and we’ve done ax throwing and bowling and we’ve, like Mama Z said, played volleyball in the middle of the afternoon. Whatever it is.

[00:16:34] It’s just us and it grows our relationship, quite frankly, better than anything next to prayer, next to just reading the Bible together. It’s one of those things that are that special.

[00:16:47] And I hope you’ve been inspired a little bit, to date your spouse more consistently in new ways, and just to be empowered that you can do this and you are only limited by your imagination. Any other thoughts or parting words?

[00:17:02] Mama Z: Yes! I challenge you to disrupt your schedule, prioritize your time, make intentional time for you and your spouse. Do something different.

[00:17:10] Post on our post about what you did.

[00:17:13] Dr. Z: I love that

[00:17:13] Mama Z: because we wanna hear about it. Hey, I’m always looking for new ideas, so uh, I might steal one of yours.

[00:17:19] Dr. Z: Ah, love it. Love it. Love it. Well, folks, as always, Dr. Z

[00:17:22] Mama Z: and Mama Z

[00:17:23] Dr. Z: and our hope and prayers that you and your family truly experience the abundant life,

[00:17:26] Mama Z: god bless.

[00:17:28] Dr. Z: Thanks for listening to the Natural Living Family Podcast. Hope today’s conversation encouraged and challenged you to live a healthier, more abundant life. Tune in next week for another life transforming discussion. 

[00:17:39] If today’s episode blessed you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. This helps more families discover the hope and healing founding God’s word. For show notes, transcripts and resources from today’s episode, visit natural living family podcast.com. And as always, this is Dr. Z. My hope and prayer is that you and your family truly experience the abundant life.

[00:18:00] God bless. Talk to you soon.