Learning to love yourself is critical in the quest for abundant living. On the other hand, self-hate can be a harmful and destructive force. How can you love others if you don’t love yourself? From digital detox to family traditions and more – the art of self-love has a lot to discuss.
Today, we dive into this topic and we share our own experiences with self-hate and how we learned to overcome it. We discuss the 5 love languages and how to use them on yourself, including falling in love with yourself.
We begin sharing the first 3 of our 10 self-love lips and how to achieve those. If you want to battle negativity and self-hate, or just want to go to deeper with yourself, tune in to today’s thought-provoking podcast!
Natural Living Family Podcast Episode Eight Highlights – Digital Detox, Earthing & Family Traditions:
- Topic introduction(1:05)
- What’s in Our Diffuser(2:25)
- Kim Morrison and “The Art of Self-Love” and the oil of love (3:27)
- Why self-love is important (6:45)
- Dr. Z’s experience with self-hate (9:12)
- The importance of love languages, using them on yourself and battling self-hate (12:28)
- Falling in love with yourself and Dr. Z’s self-love acts (20:15)
- Self-love tip #1: How to unplug and the dangers of cellphones and social media (28:50)
- Self-love tip #2: Move and get connected with the earth (42:00)
- All 10 self-love tips (46:28)
- Self-love tip #3: Creating family rituals (48:48)
- Natural Living Tip! Wrap up and upcoming topic (54:52)
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Favorite Quotes from Episode Eight – Digital Detox, Family Traditions and More!
“Many people are falling into the trap of hating themselves.” – Dr. Z
“It’s important to sow into yourself so you can be there for other people.” – Mama Z
“The number one tip for the art of self-love is to unplug from technology each week.” – Dr. Z
“When it comes to family, especially new parents, the days are long but the years are short. The abundant life is about maximizing those moments and using the art of self-love.” – Mama Z
“Being connected to the soil and the dirt, through gardening for example, grounds your body and is very anti-inflammatory.” – Mama Z
People and Resources Mentioned in Episode 8 for Digital Detox, Family Traditions and More Self-Love:
Click Here to Read the Transcript
DIGITAL DETOX, EARTHING & FAMILY TRADITIONS: THE ART OF SELF LOVE (PART 1) NATURAL LIVING FAMILY PODCAST EPISODE 8
The contents of this presentation are for informational purposes only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This presentation does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
[1:05- 1:30] Intro
Dr. Z: Hey there! Dr. Z here.
Mama Z: And Mama Z. And welcome to episode eight of our Natural Living Family Podcast.
Dr. Z: Each week we invite you into our home to talk about how you can master the art and science of natural living. And we share the very same tips our family uses each and every day to enjoy an abundant life. And I am pretty confident you’re going to really like this talk today.
Mama Z: Absolutely. So, come on in and get comfortable. After all you’re one of the family, our Natural Living Family.
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[2:25- 3:26] Diffuser Reveal
Dr. Z: And why do I think you are all going to like this talk, or should I say, love this talk? Because we are going to be discussing the art of self-love. All right. But before we do, in the spirit and honor of self-love—
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: What do we have in our diffuser Mama Z?
Mama Z: We have Brazilian rosewood, sweet orange, patchouli, ylang ylang, Indian sandalwood, and rose essential oils.
Dr. Z: You’re obviously listening. And if you’re not on YouTube or Facebook, wherever we’re streaming., what we do is we actually record this, and we are live in our home studio. I’ll invite you to check out Facebook or YouTube. You can go to Natural Living Family on Facebook or Natural Living Family on YouTube and see the ambiance, because Mama Z, she’s all about the look.
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: She made me. I have no choice. I have to wear red. She’s wearing red. We have red roses. What are these?
Mama Z: Tulips.
Dr. Z: White tulips.
Mama Z: A little Eucalyptus in there.
[3:27-5:22 ] Who Is Kim Morrison?
Dr. Z: And we are featuring our dear friend Kim’s book, which we are going to talk about, The Art of Self-Love. And what we are going to share with you is my curation of Kim’s top 28 ways to practice the art of self-love. They are all good, each and every one of them. In the spirit of David Letterman, the top ten, I was like, “You know what? A couple of these we can combine. A couple of these I am going to tweak.” But if you’ve never heard of Kim Morrison, she’s brilliant. We love her. She is one of our closet Australian friends that we’ve never met. And that’s the benefit.
Mama Z: Yeah. Like physically.
Dr. Z: No.
Mama Z: We’ve been on Skype with her.
Dr. Z: Yep.
Mama Z: We talk regularly.
Dr. Z: We’ve been on her Wellness Couch Podcast. And we have mutual friends. Our friends, Food Matters, James and Laurentine. And we have several community members and she’s been following our work. We’ve been following her work. And it’s love, it really is true love. And when she came out with this book, and as blessed and as fortunate as we are, we got a nice surprise package in the mail and it’s a signed copy of her book. And I started looking at, and as we were discussing it; what are we going to be talking about? We’ve covered a lot of different topics on this podcast already and it’s
only episode eight. I’m like, “You know, we really got to cover self-love as a foundational.” I still feel right now we are in the foundational episodes of what it is to live a Natural Living Family lifestyle. Right? How do you not include self-love? Love?
Mama Z: Absolutely.
Dr. Z: We are going to be covering other things that are really truly foundational. And so, The Art of Self-Love was written by our dear friend Kim Morrison. You can find Kim at kimmorrison.com. She’s also on Instagram. Look her up at @kimmorrison28. Alright.
[5:23-6:44 ] Dr. Z and Mama Z Disagree
So, ten. And for those of who are watching the video stream, I’m going to bring into this discussion our little disagreement we just had a couple of seconds ago. We kind of argued, which is what we do because we are married. Number one, The Art of Self-Love, we’ve got to talk about this. But unplugging from technology every week. Before we even dive into that, because we were kind of arguing about this for a minute.
Mama Z: We weren’t really arguing.
Dr. Z: Oh, no. We were arguing. And we are going to argue in a minute. I am going to pick a fight. We have to.
Mama Z: Just remember I’ve got my boxing gloves, so you better put them up.
Dr. Z: But you’re too pretty, especially with this love blend. I am going to keep it a little . . .
Mama Z: I know. The love blend. . .
Dr. Z: We’ve got to keep it PG here.
Mama Z: This is so funny. One of the first classes that we taught together, and this is truly . . .
Dr. Z: Love.
Mama Z: Where I knew that we were supposed to speak together. I just didn’t know in what capacity or whatever. And he gets up there and he starts talking about ylang ylang and he goes, “The oil of love.”
Dr. Z: It is.
Mama Z: And his head bobbed back and forth, and I was like, “oh…”
Dr. Z: I went Barry White. I’ve been told I’ve got this Barry White, Barry Manilow. I’m like, “Ylang ylang, the oil of love.” And people are like, “Oooh, Dr. Z talk about ylang ylang.”
Mama Z: And I was like, “Oh, my gosh. This is funny.”
[6:45- 9:11] What Is This Thing About Self-Love?
Dr. Z: It’s real. But anyway, we’ve got a top ten list of how to practice self-love. But before we dive into the technology and remind me we’ve got to pick this fight because it’s a real fight. It’s a real battle against technology. What is this thing about self-love? Like, why?
Mama Z: Well, I think it’s so important because especially when you are single, and you have additional time to do other things outside of work because you are just caring for yourself. And then when you get married then that adds a different dimension. And you have to then take time for yourself, take time for you and your spouse. And it’s important to sew into yourself so that you can be there for that other person as well. But then when you start have one, two, three, four children; I think it’s even more important for you to carve time out in your schedule, however convenient or not convenient. However popular or unpopular it may be. But you have to be able to take care of yourself to take care of other people.
Dr. Z: So, one thing that really threw me through a loop, it absolutely transformed my world on how to take care of myself was the fact that there’s a pretty firm commandment in the Bible. It’s the golden rule that we all hear. Treat others as you wanted to be treated yourself, right? How do you unto others as you wish to be done unto yourself if you hate yourself? Let that sink in for a second. Do unto others as you wish to be done to you, right? This is part of the golden rule. You first love God with all your mind, heart, soul, and strength and second you love your neighbor as you love yourself. But what if you hate yourself? And, I guarantee there are not just one or two, many people listening right now, that are falling into the trap of hating themselves. Maybe they hate part of themselves. Maybe they hate as Mama Z calls my little chubby. We are kind of arguing over here as I get back into exercising.
Mama Z: He’s still my handsome man.
Dr. Z: She’s like I got a little chubby. Like if you are watching on video.
Mama Z: He’s got just a little.
Dr. Z: She’s making fun of my chubbies.
Mama Z: He likes cookies.
Dr. Z: I lost my six-pack abs. It’s all right. I love myself.
[9:12- 20:15] Real Talk: Dr. Z’s Experience with Self-Hate
So, maybe you hate the little chubby. Maybe you hate that lisp. Maybe you hate that gap between your teeth. Maybe you hate the fact that you didn’t get that special degree or that special promotion and you beat yourself up. Maybe you hate the fact that you lost your marriage, you lost your job. whatever it is. If there’s a part of you that you hate. And this, I’m telling you something, this will change a life. This will transform someone’s entire outlook, because I know what it’s like to literally hate myself. And falling into a state of significant depression in my late teens early 20’s. When I got to the point where I really was considering what it would look like if I were to kill myself. I didn’t get to the point where I bought the gun or the razor blade. I didn’t get to the point where I was going to physically going to do it, but I started to think. Why am I even here? What would it matter if I’m not here anymore? Would I be able to do this? What would that look like? And I started having these thoughts, because I literally fell out of love with myself to the point where I didn’t see any value in me. Like none. And it really wasn’t until I met Christ when I was 23-years-old that God flooded my heart with love and appreciation for me and who I was in Christ. And one thing too, and this gets really deep really quick, is what is it that we’re saying to God when we hate ourselves? Isn’t it a slap to our creator? When we are saying, “I’m not good enough.” “I don’t look good enough, I don’t talk good enough, I’m not good enough.” He created us in His image. He’s the potter; we’re the clay. And I literally fell on my knees and I repented to God and I apologized. “Lord, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and You love me. You cup the hairs on my very head. Who am I?” And it’s been this transformation. And for me, I’ve been falling in love with myself for 15 now almost 16 years since I’ve been a Christian. And I can’t imagine what it would be like being married, raising a family, and doing what we do if I still hated myself.
Mama Z: I think you’re pretty great.
Dr. Z: I love me. And you know what’s funny. What kind of stuff do I say all the time?
Mama Z: Oh, my gosh. You’re like, “You know you have the best husband.” Thank you.
Dr. Z: I know.
Mama Z: You’re like, “I know I’m the best.” And I used to say, “Do I need to get another door so your head can fit through it?”
Dr. Z: My ego. And I will say, Mama Z, one thing she’s not the most lavish when it comes to compliments and praise.
Mama Z: I’m definitely more acts of service.
Dr. Z: Yes, this is the love language.
Mama Z: My dad, his acts of service, I would roll-up in college and he would go, “Pop your hood. Let me check your oil level.” I definitely am more acts service in that way.
Dr. Z: Yes. You take after your dad. You’re not an, “I love you” everyday kind of person.
Mama Z: I am.
Dr. Z: You don’t say it all the time.
Mama Z: Maybe I’m not as touchy feely.
Dr. Z: And I need that. I’m telling you.
Mama Z: I am lovey-dovey sometimes. But it’s more like, I do that because you like that. You love that.
Dr. Z: So, for me love languages are touch and words of affirmation, which are not Sabrina’s love languages at all. And so, for me when she gives me a compliment at this point, I’m like, “Yeah, I know.” She’s like, “You look good.” I’m like, “Yeah, I look pretty good, don’t I?” Anyway, it’s a little laughing joke between us, but on a side note it’s really good to know what your love languages are, and of course pick up Gary Chapman’s book the perennial best-seller forever. Especially, if you are married or courting, it’s a great book and Bible study to go through, because you need to meet each other where you are at. But that’s not the discussion. However, it is part of the discussion. What are your love languages?
Think about this; in the spirit of Gary Chapman’s work, if you love language is like me, are words of affirmation then you better be saying good things to yourself. Because I’ll tell you me saying negative things, me thinking negative things, me mediating on negative things, will put me in a state of depression like nothing else. So, I have to practice love to myself by saying things like, “Yeah, I look good. I feel good. I’m good. I’m awesome.” I actually have to talk to myself in a way where I’m encouraging myself and I’m loving myself like, “Great job.” So, it’s like I don’t even need compliments anymore. I am my best audience. I am on stage, I don’t care what anyone does, “Great job. I crushed it.” That’s kind of where I’m at right now.
Mama Z: See I’m acts of service.
Dr. Z: How do you serve yourself, give us a practical example?
Mama Z: I make sure that I work-out six days a week.
Dr. Z: Yeah. Love yourself.
Mama Z: And I make sure that I get regular massages and manicures and pedicures. And then, once a month I usually go to our friends at Clear Path Wellness and do some of their services there.
Dr. Z: Acts of service. So, you’re loving yourself by giving yourself acts of service.
Mama Z: Right.
Dr. Z: Think about that. First of all, you’ve got to find out what fills your love tank, then you got to do it yourself. And then, once you know what works you tell your partner, your spouse, your family, your friends, what are those things. So, anyway, self-love, I’m going to challenge you. Everyone I want to ask you to make a determined effort to literally fall in love with yourself. Deeply fall in love with yourself. Appreciate you as, literally, I’m going to use the word ‘literally’ a million times here, appreciate you as the true unique snow flake that you are.
Mama Z: That’s because no snow flake is the same. Everyone is just a little bit different.
Dr. Z: Ever look at a snow flake under a microscope?
Mama Z: Yes, so pretty.
Dr. Z: The intricacies. It’s absolutely mind-blowing. People call it the sacred geometry of this perfect, absolutely mind-blowing structure that is so small in the scheme of things that’s part of this huge microcosm.
Mama Z: Right.
Dr. Z: And that’s really kind of who we are. I’m telling you, when God made you, He broke the mold.
Mama Z: And it might have been moldy. Just kidding. We used to joke about that all the time. Oh, and I say, “Yeah, when God made us, He threw away the mold.” And my mom’s like, “The only reason they threw away that mold was because it was moldy.”
Dr. Z: You’re something else. So, here is when, see I love you. You’re kind of like the Ed McMahon here, you’re like the comedy relief. Because I’m going to get deep here.
So, the thing is that what happens if you’ve been abandoned? What happens if your mother/father left you up for adoption? What happens if your mother and father, or your father left you, or you were abused – you were hurt? What happens if you were not ever valued, and you have not been valued by people? And time and time again, whether it’s teachers, something you could relate to, being just undervalued by teachers and how that scarred you. Whether it is by co-workers or bosses or a spouse that never truly appreciated you for who you are. None of that matters at all. And it should not put an imprint on you or causes you to hate yourself. And that I think is what starts. Once someone shows hatred towards you, you accept it and then you believe it and then you start hating yourself.
Mama Z: Right. Because like the Bible says, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” And, I was thinking when you were talking, when you have an influence like we do, we used to get a lot of hate mail. And, I know we don’t read it anymore. We have somebody that goes through it, and if there’s something important to address, then they do. But every time when I would look at something, I would always pray for that person because the only way that someone would act like that when you offer a free avenue…At that time that’s all we had is just our articles our free information that we were giving out. And we had people sending us hate mail. And obviously they must be coming from a place that is really bad in their own life, not happy with themselves and the only way that that hatred would spew out is if they weren’t happy with themselves. So, I would always pray for them. Now, don’t send me hate mail because you want me to pray for you.
Dr. Z: We’ll pray for you anyway.
Mama Z: We’ll pray for you anyway.
Dr. Z: And that’s just the nature of the game though.
Mama Z: It is.
Dr. Z: When reach millions of people, you’re bound to pick a nerve inadvertently.
Mama Z: We are not the only ones. Because at the mind share, they had the most hateful hate mail that people got. I’ve had worse. It’s just that’s where people are at.
When you come across somebody like this, obviously they are not in self-love, because if you don’t love yourself you can’t love other people. But even within that we have to offer a measure of grace to them, just like we would want God to do for us. Because obviously they are not at that awakening level where they understand their value, or they wouldn’t act like that.
Dr. Z: Yes. Remembering who you are B.C., before Christ. That is so important.
Mama Z: And we even feel like that just even where our story, we will never forget where we have come from and what we have gone through in the process of it and how it felt. Because if you lose touch with that, then you can’t relate to other people when it comes to them being in the middle of a battle. And I think that’s huge, because we all go through battles all of the time. And we need to help encourage each other to get through those times.
[20:15- 25:05] Falling in Love with Self
Dr. Z: So, my challenge to everyone listening or watching right now is to take a moment. And whether you press pause right now actually, and journal it, write it down, put it in your text document app or whatever you have on your phone or iPad or whatever it is. I want you to put today’s date down. And I want you to start making a very intentional active approach to self-love. And maybe one way of starting that is putting down areas that you really don’t like about yourself. Weight, height, colors, skin, voice, whatever. What I want you to do is write it down. If this is you, and I want you to really, literally, physically give it to God. Right now, for those people who are watching, I have this piece of paper in front of me and I’m giving it and then you just let it go.
Mama Z: Put it in the shredder.
Dr. Z: Well, first, yes, we could that. You know when Paul says, “Cast all your cares and anxieties upon me.” Jesus says, “My yoke is ease My burden’s light.” Paul says, “Cast all your cares and anxieties on the Lord and the peace of God which transcends all understanding and will guard your heart, mind, heart in Jesus.”
So, I want you to write down the things that you really don’t like about yourself. And no one needs to this. This is just between us, literally. I don’t even want to see it, it’s private. Only God needs to see it, and God already knows. So, you give it to Him, and you say, “Lord I give this to you in faith. I don’t want to hate this anymore about me.” And it could be anything. Literally anything. That could be one group of people.
Another group of people, as you know, there really isn’t anything that I can think about that I hate about myself, but I really get what you’re saying Dr. Z and Mama Z. I really want to fall in love with myself deeper so I can be of better service to humanity. I want you to write this date down and even put down, Today’s a day that I start to fall in love with myself.” Just something. I want you to put something down on paper that you could back to, because like Sabrina says, “You want to always remember where you came from.” This is part of your Natural Living journal, so to speak.
Mama Z: One of the things, I can’t remember which speaker it was over the years, but they said to write a second list. One that is all of characteristics and things about yourself that you really do like.
Dr. Z: Yes.
Mama Z: And also, write a list of all of the positives that you have going in your life.
Dr. Z: So, the first one, give it to God in prayer, then shred it, burn it, whatever you want to do. Make it a ritual. Like look I’m done with this, I give it away.
Mama Z: Get it off your balance sheet.
Dr. Z: Then write another list and say these are the things that I really can appreciate about me now.
Mama Z: Do those every day.
Dr. Z: Yes. That could be part of a gratitude journal. Something I try to do is be grateful. The Bible says, “You enter His gates,” God’s gates, “with thanksgiving, enter His courts with praise.” If you don’t have a grateful heart, a thankful heart, you are never going to enter the presence of God. You are never going to experience joy. And we know the joy of the Lord is our strength.
Mama Z: Right.
Dr. Z: And there’s a power there. And when the enemy of our souls, the devil, can get us to a place where we’re unappreciative, we’re not grateful, and not thankful; that produces self-hatred and self-loathing. And that’s depression. I’m telling you, it’s quick.
And when you really aren’t feeling well, you don’t really see yourself as valuable and that’s something that we deal with a lot with the people that follow us; “Well, I’m not worth it.” That’s a lie from the pit of Hell. You are worth it. By virtue of being a child of God you’re worth it.
Mama Z: Right.
Dr. Z: And so, what we are going to share with you are ten ways to practice how you are worth it by actively loving yourself, and actively doing things. Because again, if you’re not worth it you’re not going to eat the right foods, you’re not going to exercise, you’re not going to do this, you’re not going to do that. You’re not going to allow yourself to enjoy life.
Mama Z: Right.
Dr. Z: Maybe say that too, “I am worth it.” I love that. I love that. That’s a great affirmation.
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: I am worth it. We’ve got to do a t-shirt. I could totally see us having a tshirt and a baseball cap, whatever, a purse, “I am worth it.”
Mama Z: I would love to see you with a purse that says, “I am worth it.”
Dr. Z: I got a murse. A #imworthit. I do have a murse, because I got this Invisaligner – that’s a whole other topic.
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[26:08- 28:50] Another aspect of Self-Love
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: Mama Z got me a murse.
Mama Z: I did. It was really funny.
Dr. Z: That’s self-love, by the way.
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: Because that was something I hated about myself, my crooked teeth.
Mama Z: Yeah.
Dr. Z: And I kept on chipping my teeth because my teeth are so crooked. I didn’t come from money, you all. My folks couldn’t afford braces, and I chipped my front tooth three times last year. My dentist is like, “Look, Eric, you’ve got get something, braces or Invisalign. You’re going to keep on chipping your teeth.”
And so, that was always one part of me. I’ve always been ashamed of my smile. And you know what? I’ve gotten hate mail. People have criticized my smile online. Who wants to hear that?
Mama Z: Really?
Dr. Z: Oh yeah. Someone said, “Dr. Z, you should go to a dentist.” I go to a dentist. Seriously, people are kind of critical, like the expect us to look perfect. I don’t know, literally.
Mama Z: I did get him wearing make-up for on camera.
Dr. Z: I’m not wearing make-up now though. I didn’t want it. When we do a professional shoot-up, I’ll put on studio make-up, so I don’t shine like a light bulb.
Mama Z: Yeah. Because you kind shine on me a little bit.
Dr. Z: That was another act of self-love. Because I had to appreciate myself enough that I would look as good as possible on camera and on stage. Again, that was a self-love step. And getting Invisalign was a self-love step, and thankfully Mama Z got me a murse, a man purse, a murse.
Mama Z: Yeah. So, you could have your traveling toothbrush some charcoal dental floss.
Dr. Z: Activated charcoal dental floss.
Mama Z: Yep. And then some different special kinds of little toothpastes that were healthy to travel with.
Dr. Z: And that’s the only way I could survive traveling.
Mama Z: And I put a few other little fun things in there too.
Dr. Z: Self-love.
Mama Z: Self-love.
Dr. Z: Anyway, that was a self-love thing. I was willing to do that for myself.
Mama Z: I told him I don’t really care. I think you’re handsome the way you are.
Dr. Z: Ahh. You married me for my money.
Mama Z: Yeah. I always joke around because he says that all the time. And it’s so funny because when we met, we had two rubber nickels that would could possible rub together, maybe.
Dr. Z: And I borrowed that one.
Mama Z: From my dad.
Dr. Z: I did. Anyway, we love it. So, okay, number one, again this inspired from our dear friend Kim Morrison’s book The Art of Self-Love, and by the way she is Australian. I hope that this book is available. If not, flood, go to kimmorrison.com and say, “look we want this book available.” I know there’s got to be a way of getting it available in the states. But if you live New Zealand, Australia, this book is a best-seller, get it on New Zealand or Australian Amazon. That’s the other thing, I wish Amazon were more global. But anyway.
Mama Z: I’m sure it’s coming.
[28:50- 42:00] Self-Love Tip #1: Unplug
Dr. Z: It better. So, this is something very special. I want to start where to me one of the biggest contentions are. It’s been a contention in our own marriage. But it’s a contention in my life. Because I was the last person in my own little social group that a) got a cell phone, and then I was the last person who got a “smartphone.” And the only reason I got my smartphone was because of business. And I’m telling you something, I literally do 80 percent, 75 on the lawn, and I can prove it to you.
Mama Z: I know. And I didn’t even get a smartphone until two years after you did.
Dr. Z: I can prove it to you. Apple now has this monitor your activity program on their new upgrade. And you can see that I’m not messing around on social media. I’m working. Actually, Apple is cool. It says, “productivity,” and it says this and “streaming,” and whatever, “games.” I literally work on my phone.
Mama Z: You do know how to play games on phone, though.
Dr. Z: I did I actually beat Hot Wheels Race-off with the kids. I crushed that; it was fun. That was really fun. Anyway, I am telling you I have been battling this technology thing because being essentially an online, this digital marketer guy, I do everything. I run my team. Our meetings we do Zoom’s. Share screen calls. I am contacting people via messenger on Facebook. We communicate with our inner-circle group people, our Natural Living Family group people that you can be part of if you join our newsletter. All of this stuff I’m communicating with people and I found myself glued to technology. And I got to a point where I got angry at it. I’m like, “no more of this, this has got to stop.”
And so, number one here, again this is adapted from Kim Morrison’s book, but I want to say number one in the art of self-love, unplug from technology each week. What does that look like for you, Mama Z?
Mama Z: We do as much as we can, especially when we are on date night, we have to of course, keep the lines of communication open to the babysitter and stuff, but other than that, we like to turn our phone on silent. Especially, when we are painting, or we are doing something with just the two of us. That’s the time when we most unplug.
Dr. Z: I’m finding myself fasting from the phone and it feels great. Especially, if all my peeps are with me, Sabrina and the four kids, if I have my core with me, I don’t even have my phone with me now. It’s like my phone is in the other room, and for people who are trying to get in touch with me, business-wise, they are like, “Hey, I’m trying to get in touch with you.” I’m like, “I’m unplugged.” I want to get to the point where I can completely unplug for two or three/four days at a time. But still in our business we are still in this hustle and grind mode. We are writing books. We’re producing new content. Again, we have this active team of 20 people from around the globe that we are managing and working in all different time zones and all of these deadlines. I literally have not found at this point an opportunity where I could go “on vacation” and not have that piece yet. And that’s a goal though. I share that with the world. I told that to my team. My goal is to be able to disconnect for a complete week.
Mama Z: And you know what? I would say that when we do that, we would go back to Hawaii when we do that.
Dr. Z: Oooo, Maui?
Mama Z: For a week. Or Kauai.
Dr. Z: See we would have to bring the kids though. We have to bring the kids though.
Mama Z: Oh, no, no. We’ll let grandparents – we’ll have to like plan something.
Dr. Z: So, we will have the phone for just like kid emergencies, then?
Mama Z: Exactly.
Dr. Z: Here’s the thing, a little bit of an argument here. But I’ve found myself asking you to turn off the phone. No phone. No phone.
Mama Z: I don’t mind. It’s just when I need to do stuff for social media and other stuff like that, because I’m not so tech savvy, it always takes me ten times as long to do stuff. Where he is so fast. That’s how he is. I am so slow.
Dr. Z: I’ve gotten frustrated, especially on a date. And I see what kind of happens. And this is the trap you all. So, we are at a movie, I remember Aquaman a couple of weeks ago. We are at movie and Sabrina gets a text message from the babysitter, of course, she’s on top of it. But then, that one text message opens up another door, now you are on something else. You check another text message from a friend. Next thing you know you are chatting.
Mama Z: I wasn’t doing that though during the movie.
Dr. Z: That’s how quick it can happen.
Mama Z: It could happen like that, but I try to keep it right to business because if not then you would be searching other things. The only thing that I have pertinent is you and the kids. Especially, if we are on date night.
Dr. Z: I know we’ve fallen into that trap though. Whether it’s during like a master class launch, or our books coming out. The Essential Oils Diet is coming out soon. It’s like I’m on top of it and it’s a battle. So, love yourself enough to unplug.
Mama Z: Yeah.
Dr. Z: For the sake of your family and friends. But here’s a really good reason, and if you haven’t, go to YouTube, type up Simon Sinek and type up cell phone addictions, something like that on YouTube. Simon Sinek Cell Phone Addiction.
Mama Z: It talks about things on how it’s training the next generation. And why people need to have everything now, because it’s an ever-chasing spiral when they want to get that same – almost like a gaming addiction – but to the phone.
Dr. Z: Simon makes a pointed observation that we don’t allow children under 18 years old drink alcohol in America, for example. And I’m sure in Canada and other countries. But we allow children to have relatively unhindered access to the most addictive substance on the planet. And that is a cell phone or an iPad.
Here’s why, and again, I don’t want to steal his thunder, but I did the research on this and it blew my mind. Notifications on your phone trigger the addiction cascade. It triggers the endorphin response. How many times have you posted something on social media, a picture or whatever, Alert, Instagram, Tweet, and then you go back two, three, four, five, six times in an hour and see how many people liked it? See how many people responded? And then you go back, and you go back and again. Then every time you open up your phone you see the alert, you see the notification. That literally triggers a dopamine response. It literally is like a little drip of adrenaline. It’s a little drip of instant gratification.
Mama Z: See and I hate that. I like to turn all of my sounds off. All of the stuff off. I don’t like that at all.
Dr. Z: I found myself when I open up my phone, you open up my phone, before I did this, and I am going to give you a tip on how to hack around this, because I turned off all notifications.
Mama Z: Oh, yeah. So, he turns off all notifications, so then I try to call him or text him because I needed to actually get a hold of him. And I was so mad, I was like, “Listen, I know that you’re trying to like change your life and everything, but when I need to get a hold of you, you need to answer immediately. I have things that are always pertinent for now.”
Dr. Z: Well not immediately, but the notification meaning, the message, the text message.
Mama Z: But it was like the phone call, the text, the voicemail.
Dr. Z: Just so you know. I wasn’t on do not disturb. Here’s what I did. I literally went to every one of my apps and I said, no notifications on everything. So, when I opened up my phone there’s no numbers, there’s no pop-ups.
Mama Z: He’s definitely the extremist in the group.
Dr. Z: Here’s what happens though, it literally is a physiological neurological response.
Mama Z: Yeah. Mine was definitely a neurological response on that deal.
Dr. Z: When you look at your phone and you see notification banners and alerts, you will feel very much compelled to click on that app to look. And if you don’t check yourself that compulsion will become an addiction. And I’m telling you I experienced that. I was like, “I got a message. I got to go to it. I go Facebook, I go to it.” I email. God forbid, right now, every time you go to my phone, the only notifications I’m allowing are text message to remind me in case Sabrina gets it.
When I go to my phone, this is something for work people, I actually know people who have a work phone and a personal phone, so they don’t mix this. Because this gets really screwy. But for me living on my phone, working, emailing people, I would go to my phone and I would see 25 emails. I’m like, “Oh, man, I’ve got to go.” It created this fight or flight sympathetic response. So, I’m sharing with you all this is actually by design. And Facebook knows what they’re doing. And Simon Sinek explains in even more detail about how we need to unplug. We need to get ourselves free of this compulsive behavior. Get ourselves free of the addiction of the instant gratification and the notifications.
And I’m telling you, my tip to you is unless absolutely necessary, turn off all your notifications on your phone, so when you open up your phone you choose what you want to dive into. That way you’re not going to be drawn to any particular app because you see 25 notifications, five notifications. But anyway, going on a technology fast on a regular basis, and like our friend Kim says, unplug each week. Take a day. Take a half a day. If you are so addicted, just an hour. And get off of social media. I’m telling you something, and I know we are airing this on Facebook, and I hope Facebook doesn’t shut us down for saying this, because I’m going to be careful about what I say.
Because the powers that be listen you all.
And by the way, can I point out something that more people are catching on to? Ever see ads on Facebook? Ever see advertisements when you are searching on Google or YouTube? You know what’s happening? If you haven’t noticed this, ever go search for something.
Mama Z: Or even better yet, Eric.
Dr. Z: Oh, don’t say it. All right, what? That’s my trump card.
Mama Z: Uh, huh.
Dr. Z: Okay. I’ll let you say that. So, your searching on Amazon for a product, well what product do you see on Facebook? How do they know, right?
Mama Z: And then people are like, “Ooo it’s meant to be.”
Dr. Z: “Oh, it’s a sign from God.” It’s retargeting you all. It’s what marketers do. Now here’s the scary piece. This is absolutely true.
Mama Z: The scary piece is that, and I was talking to somebody about this yesterday, you allow – to use apps and other things on your phone, you allow access to your photos and to your microphone.
Dr. Z: Microphone.
Mama Z: And that includes your web browsers and all of the other things. So, everything is listening, and you could be just talking like Eric and I are right now to one another. And we could be talking about fat pants and the next time he gets on his phone and goes onto Google he could have an ad for slimming pants. Slimming workout pants.
Dr. Z: Literally. Have you done that?
Mama Z: It has happened over and over and over again. It’s real.
Dr. Z: It’s real. It’s called voice recognition.
Mama Z: Voice recognition.
Dr. Z: It’s called voice search. And I’m telling you as a marketer we’re developing our website to make sure that people search online and we get ranked on Google, because it’s all there. This is scary.
And you know what? A girl at our chiropractor’s office, well one of the new chiropractic assistants, she’s a young girl and she’s slick. She’s like, “Hey, did you notice?” And she is trying to tell me about this. I’m like, “Sweet, more people are catching on.” She literally was on a phone call with a friend talking about a product that she was interested in and she saw an ad for that product
on Facebook. She never searched for it anywhere. They triggered it by voice.
So, I’m telling you all. I’m saying this to say, of course, this isn’t like big brother’s watching thing. That’s a whole other topic, but what it is that the whole system. The gaming system of notifications, of alerts, of social media is designed to trigger the dopamine and serotonin so you are drawn back to it. It’s just like taking crack. It’s just like using heroine. It’s just like any addictive substance. And Simon Sinek is like, “Look, you’ve got to get unaddicted to this stuff.” So, anyway this is a really, really long topic, but it’s kind of interesting to talk about.
Mama Z: Wow. I think we have ten things on the list.
Dr. Z: We’ve got ten. But we’ve got at least five minutes left to talk today. But give yourself some self-love, unplug. Okay. This is an easy one.
Mama Z: Oh, yes.
[42:00- 46:27] Self-Love Tip #2: Move
Dr. Z: Number two. Move. Get your hands deep and dirty in your garden.
Mama Z: Yes. I love it.
Dr. Z: Talk to us a little bit about and give yourself a plug, because your garden class is out.
Mama Z: Yes. It’s out.
Dr. Z: How is it self-loving. I’m not the gardener as much as you are. Talk to me about how you are loving yourself by gardening.
Mama Z: And it’s okay that you’re not. Definitely getting your hands and your feet dirty in the mud.
Dr. Z: Well, it’s job security for them.
Mama Z: And actually, in Georgia we gave a plug for my friend in Michigan, but in Georgia nail center that I go to, they’re fabulous. They know me so well.
Dr. Z: Where is that? Where do you go?
Mama Z: I go to the Nail Center, it’s a modern spot.
Dr. Z: Where is it? Woodstock?
Mama Z: It’s in Woodstock.
Dr. Z: Woodstock, Georgia, okay.
Mama Z: Yep. Woodstock, Acworth area.
Dr. Z: They use non-toxic stuff, of course.
Mama Z: Yep. Yep. And they have lots of different options. And so, I really, really love them. They are so funny. I will come in with basil stained fingernails, and they are like, “Oh, we’ve been doing a lot in the garden or cooking this week?” And they are always so sweet. And they want to make sure that my hands always look perfect for on camera and they look at it from all different angles and stuff like that.
But it’s really important to me to have that earthing affect. To really be connected to the soil and the dirt, it grounds your body, it’s very antiinflammatory. But I really feel like God speaks to me when I am in the garden. What I mean by that is I really see a lot of the scriptures come to life when I’m in there.
Dr. Z: A lot of parable of the source stuff in the Bible. It’s sprinkled throughout The Old Testament.
Mama Z: Oh, yeah. So, having that time to just connect with the plants is something that if you get into gardening or you like walks with nature, anything like that is really going to give you that connection and it’s something that is important.
Dr. Z: That’s the first occupation. I mean Adam and Eve tilled the garden and they took care of the land, and that was like the core of who we are. At the end of the day you have to eat and so connecting with the food that is going to sustain you and give you life, it’s really just an act of sustenance.
Mama Z: Yeah.
Dr. Z: It’s an act of self-love.
Mama Z: Yeah. It’s so important.
Dr. Z: Kim talked about moving, and actually three. She gave three tips. Move and then she also mentioned earthing. She mentioned talk off your shoes and walk barefoot.
Mama Z: Yep. I do that all the time.
Dr. Z: This is a three for one deal for Kim’s book. But I love that piece about gardening because….
Mama Z: Because our gardening class is coming out.
Dr. Z: It’s out.
Mama Z: And it’s organic. Yeah. It’s organicgardenclass.com.
Dr. Z: And people can get, you all can get a mini master class and watch Sabrina walk through the raised bed garden, the herb garden, the aroma garden, the deck garden all of these gardens. You get a mini master class. So, you right now, because it’s just about planting season in most places in the Western Hemisphere. And for those of you that live up north, you’ve got a little time, but you could start planning now, so go to organicgardenclass.com, and check it out. Because Mama Z is really the gardening expert. And we talked last episode, in the last couple of episodes about the legacy. Your mom and dad and we really covered that a lot about picking weeds, right? What was that? Episode six?
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: Anyway, we’ve got a few to cover, but I think it’s really important. How about this? How about I give the list quick for those of you who are notetakers. By the way you can always go to NaturalLivingFamilypodcast.com, look up episode eight, all the show notes and transcripts are there for you for free. Right there as our blessing to you. But if you are taking notes right now,
if you’re a notetaker, I love that by the way, because I am too.
Mama Z: Yeah. I can’t wait to talk about the next one.
Dr. Z: Here’s a quick list. Number one, unplug from technology each week. Again, this is an inspired curated list from our dear friend Kim Morrison and from The Art of Self-Love. She had twenty-eight. I condensed it down to my top ten favorites.
So, number one is unplug from technology each week. Number two is move/get your hands deep and dirty in the garden/earthing. Take off your shoes and socks and walk out barefoot.
[46:28- 47:20] Self-Love Tips #3-9
Number three create rituals for the family. Number four have an aromatic bath or shower. Number five up your greens/set your pantry and fridge with wholesome food. Number six clean the house, also select a room to declutter, rearrange, and decorate. That’s really cool. Number seven share yourself a/k/a I would say pay it forward with your own acts of service to the world.
Number eight is carry an inspirational quote. I would say Bible verse with you, so you have it always on hand for instant motivation and inspiration.
Number nine, this is such an important one, going back to episode of one and two of the podcasts, hang-out, spend time, and meet with friends that lift you up, don’t tear you down.
[47:20- 48:48 ] Self-Love Tip #10: Cultivate a Life of Loving Intimacy
And number ten, I had to include this one in the spirit of love: create date nights. And also Kim talks about have sex! We are going to keep it PG, don’t worry. But if you’re married, have date nights, obviously it’s so important to connect with your spouse. Having intimacy is absolutely key and that’s an art of self-love.
So, we will talk a little bit about sex and ylang ylang, right? We talk about ylang ylang, the oil of love, but going back to the diffuser blend that we have, there’s a lot of things you can do. By the way, we need to have more discussion on how to set the mood. Because you know what one of our most number one most popular posts are on the website? You know what it is?
Essential oils for sex. We get more people searching for essential oils for sex than any other topic.
Mama Z: It comes and goes, but we’re getting around to that…
Dr. Z: Oh, no this has been number one for a while. It just let’s me know that maybe because we are around this whole, I don’t know.
Mama Z: Valentine’s Day.
Dr. Z: I don’t know. I’m just telling you people are looking for this. And this is a topic that a lot of folks don’t feel maybe comfortable talking about in a group setting. But guess what, they are searching for it.
Mama Z: Right.
Dr. Z: And I know it. Google is sending people our way by the droves. So, obviously, people are looking to boost intimacy because of a million things.
Mama Z: And it’s good because it comes from a Christian perspective and all of that stuff.
Dr. Z: Yes. Everything is PG. But we get real, because we are allowed to talk about real stuff.
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: So, anyway, we don’t have too much time, babe.
[48:48-54:51 ] Creating Family Rituals
Mama Z: I know. But create rituals for the family.
Dr. Z: This is so important.
Mama Z: It is. And we’ve carried some of the traditions that my family did, but we have always added our own twists. Even on holidays. So, on Christmas Day, my mom always got us new pajamas on Christmas Eve, I do that for the family too. And then the next day we either shower and get into a new pair of pajamas and literally wear pajamas all of Christmas Day. It’s the one day that
we go from pajama to pajama.
Dr. Z: It’s nice.
Mama Z: And we like that. We usually watch a collection of movies, which my family loved to do, but Eric will bring out the organic popcorn and he’ll pop up lots of batches of popcorn to watch. And the kids absolutely love it because we have a mini movie popcorn maker.
Dr. Z: Coconut oil, freshly popped, organic, non-GMO popcorn. Best treat ever with a little bit of Himalayan salt.
Mama Z: I remember when he brought that home. It was like $40 from Kroger.
He’s like, “I have got the best present ever.”
Dr. Z: Self-love baby.
Mama Z: Yeah.
Dr. Z: You know, Sabrina, hold on a second. I think we are on another part two here.
Mama Z: I think so too. This book is so amazing and the lessons and things. She’s quite a bit older than us and she’s been through – this is part of her life story. And there are so many awesome nuggets that you’ve pulled out here that we could definitely talk about each of these.
Dr. Z: I mean we’re barely on number three and she had 28, and I did my best to condense it down to ten. And so, here’s my thought. I know people in our Natural Living Family community are going to want to know more about the aromatic bath. Next episode we are going to give them your detox bath, a recipe. And they are going to want to know about healthy eating. Setting yourself up for success in your fridge. Cleaning the house, non-toxic. How to pay it forward and really key is spending time with key friends that support you and lift you up.
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: How about this? How about we end with this create rituals for the family? That’s number three. And then we’ll have the lofty goal of – we can finish the last seven in an episode?
Mama Z: Alright. I think we can.
Dr. Z: Okay. We’ll do that.
Mama Z: One think I’ve realized is that, especially children, they are at school, and they are recognizing patterns and trends and things like that. And they look for that kind of thing.
So, two years ago, Esther went to her first church retreat, and afterwards I took her out to dinner, and we talked about everything she learned. And she could not wait, and they are going to it this year. And she couldn’t wait until we go because that meant that afterwards that we get to go here. And Isaiah will say, “remember it’s this, we get to do that.” And so, it gives kids and parents, especially, something to look forward to together and something that we do together. I think that it’s really important because it creates that much more closeness with one another.
Dr. Z: The holidays are great for that. And I’m Sicilian
Mama Z: Absolutely.
Dr. Z: And we make Italian honey balls. The healthy gluten-free way, and you can actually go on our website, type up Italian honey balls, we call it Pina Lota in Sicilian. And that’s something that the kids love to do. And even in March and April, “hey, can we make more Pina Lota?” But it’s really fun. You get to make a desert together and of course we put our Natural Living healthy spin to it. But all of these different things.
Mama Z: Yeah. And we always do our little cooking club with the kids.
Dr. Z: So much.
Mama Z: Usually, every week. And so, it’s something that they grow accustomed to doing things fun and they look forward to that. In fact, they look forward to it so much that when I went into Elijah’s class when they talked about what they wanted to be, he made his little thing. He was going to be a baker.
Dr. Z: Oh, yeah.
Mama Z: And he’s the first to grab his apron and put it on for cooking club. So, it’s definitely, it allows your family to experience other things together. And I think as many experiences that you can have in that way it just opens the door for other things that might spark interest and stuff.
Dr. Z: One thing that the kids really like to do, is that they like to go to Nature’s Corner Market our local health food store after church on Sundays.
Mama Z: Yes.
Dr. Z: Because they have this great gluten-free flatbread pizza that we use, dairy-free cheese and pizza sauce and we have pizza after church. And that’s something fun. And we typically only go there only after church, and that’s given them a little more motivation to get ready on Sunday mornings. Because maybe they weren’t as excited before. But they know. And we almost didn’t go last week. Because it was cold, it was really, really cold here last week.
Mama Z: Yeah. We called in our order and they were like, “But we’re supposed to go in.”
Dr. Z: They got it down. They are like, “We go in and eat there. We make it fun.” It’s a ritual.
Mama Z: Oh, my gosh. And Esther followed me around with that shopping cart, every single thing.
Dr. Z: It was so cold though, I didn’t want to get out of the car. I just wanted to go from church to the house. But anyway, creating those rituals, this love. The thing is it’s this art of self-love that the kids have seen in us and we are leading by example. And I am being very more intentional about spending that time with the family, because I’m worth it. Because they’re worth it. Because we’re worth it.
Mama Z: Right.
Dr. Z: And you know what? You’re worth it. And you’re worth it so much that you owe it to yourself to listen to next week’s podcast the finish the art of selflove.
Mama Z: Right.
[54:52-55:22 ] Natural Living Tip Episode Wrap-Up
Dr. Z: Where we’re going to cover everything from having an aromatic bath to creating date nights and having sex. So, we are going to cover it.
Mama Z: PG style.
Dr. Z: PG style. We are going to cover it all and you are worth it. Just trust me.
Mama Z: You are. And when it comes to family, especially for new parents and whatnot, we know that the days are long, but the years are short. So, it’s really about maximizing all of those moments. And especially using the art of self-love is so key.
[55:25–57:56] Natural Living Tip Detox Bath and AquaTru Discount/Free Gift!
Dr. Z: And to wrap-up today’s show we have a special Natural Living Family tip for you.
Mama Z: A great way to show self-love is to enjoy a detox bath! Our detox bath recipe is 1 Cup of epsom salt; 1/4 Cup of Bragg apple cider vinegar; 1 tablespoon of fractionated coconut oil or jojoba oil; 1-2 drops of lemon essential oil; and 6-10 drops of lavender essential oil. What you want to do is start by drawing your bath, adding the epsom salts and apple cider vinegar. Then in your hand, put your oil and your essential oils. Mix them up in your hand and then run them through the bath and stir it all together. Enjoy by soaking 30-45 minutes in your bathing water. I always recommend to do this before going to bed at night because this will give you an awesome night’s rest!
Dr Z: And don’t forget, as a special gift for our Natural Living Family podcast members, Aqua Tru is giving you $100 off your first order + a free bottle of minerals that creates alkaline water that is full of life-giving micro nutrients.
Mama Z: Simply go to NaturalLivingFamilyPodcast.com to find the special link so you can redeem this deal on the show notes from today’s episode.
Dr. Z: So, as always, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening and tuning-in. And we hope that you enjoyed today’s show and as a reminder don’t forget go to NaturalLivingFamilypodcast.com to get all of the show notes, episode transcripts, and everything else and special sponsor deals. Because we have some of the best sponsors on the planet.
Mama Z: Absolutely.
Dr. Z: And while on the website don’t forget to sign-up for our weekly podcast newsletter, because you’ll get a personal invite to our private Facebook group so you can connect with Mama Z and I one on one. And meet thousands of other Natural Living lovers just like you. And don’t forget we really appreciate and hope that you subscribe to our podcast and leave a review. We love hearing what you have to say about our show.
Mama Z: Absolutely.
Dr. Z: Well, this is Dr. Z.
Mama Z: And Mama Z.
Dr. Z: And our hope and prayer is that you and your family truly experience the abundant life. God bless you all. We’ll talk to you soon.
Mama Z: Bye, bye.