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This episode we are talking about raising grateful, hardworking godly kids. Thanks to you, our Natural Living Family and some of the questions you’ve asked us! But this means mastering the art of disciplining them – and we know that is controversial to many. So let’s dig into this podcast topic and discuss the heart behind our parenting mindset.

We discuss how we let our faith show in every aspect of our parenting, even with encouraging them to pray with and for others. We also tackle the benefits of discipline, a controversial topic for many parents today. See some of our tips on how to start, what kind of discipline is age-appropriate, and how to enforce it in a way that teaches and guides them.

We even tackle one of the toughest topics – spanking! Dr Z. came from a family where spanking was really abuse and there was a long line of that in his family. So we will talk about where we draw our lines, our do’s and don’t’s, and more. We even touch on potty training as it relates to discipline! #NoTopicTooMessy

One of the most important things we discuss is something that some parents leave out – what to do after disciplining your child. Whether it’s been a time out, a natural consequence, or a spanking, we always connect with them afterwards. This is one of the most important parts of any discipline!

And we talk about one of the most important parts of parenting – raising children who are accountable and responsible. This is part of discipline! It goes back to having a spirit of excellence and as a parent we teach our children how to strive for that themselves. We talk about how we combat laziness in our children with chores. #ChoresFortheWin!

Finally, we’ll talk about how to share your faith with your kids. How all of these things work together to produce godly children. Raising them with a legacy of faith is so important to us. And all of it has real-life examples from our years of raising our 4 children!

Join us to learn to tips that can aid you in the most important job you have: being a parent!

Listen & Watch Natural Living Family Podcast Episode 23 Raising Grateful, Hardworking Godly Kids

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Natural Living Family Podcast Episode Twenty-Three Highlights – Raising Godly Kids

  • Today’s topic intro, what’s in our diffuser & your reviews! (2:15)
  • Special announcements and events (6:45)
  • Listeners reviews & being real with your life and faith (10:02)
  • Disciplining children: time outs, spanking, and more (16:50)
  • Discipline strategies for different ages (24:14)
  • What to do after you’ve disciplined your child (28:30)
  • Potty training (33:22)
  • Disciplining your children for their good (35:20)
  • Incorporating structure into your parenting (38:52)
  • Combating laziness, and cultivating gratitude & faith in your kids (44:14)
  • Raising children with a legacy of faith (51:51)
  • Natural living tip and episode wrap (61:40)

A Special Gift from Our Sponsor...

And before we get any further, we want to give a huge shoutout to our friends at Thrive Market.

Special Price Just for Natural Living Family Readers! Get 25% OFF your first order just for being one of our readers. Start your Thrive Market shopping list here and enjoy a free 30-day trial.

We are grateful for their belief in us and this podcast and are proud to introduce them as our podcast sponsor!

Dr. Z and Mama Z's Favorite Natural Wholesale Grocery Store - Try it Today and Save on The Essential Oils Diet foods.

Favorite Quotes About Raising Godly Kids from Episode 23

“We discipline our children for their own good so they will be upstanding citizens of the kingdom of God and of our local community. ”- Dr. Z

“In my opinion, children who are around two and a half years are usually old enough to be disciplined.” – Dr. Z

“You have to always follow up the discipline with immediate love. ” – Dr. Z

“Kids actually like structure and discipline, even though sometimes they say they don’t.” – Mama Z

“Just because you had a lot of chores to do and had a lot of discipline, that doesn’t mean it was a bad thing.” – Dr. Z

People and Resources Mentioned in Episode 23

Raising Grateful, Hardworking Godly Kids - Podcast Episode 23

Click Here to Read the Transcript - Raising Grateful, Hardworking Godly Kids

Natural Living Family Podcast, Episode 23 Transcript: Raising Grateful, Hardworking Godly Kids

The contents of this presentation are for informational purposes only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This presentation does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

[0:00 – 1:10] Prelude

Mama Z: But it was like two or three o’clock in the morning. So, I hear this noise. And I’m like, “Oh my gosh!

Dr. Z: Was it Elijah?

Mama Z: No. We have animals outside in the garage. So, I go out there. The three of them were sitting in the car, on their iPads.

Dr. Z: All three of them? Hah, hah, hah!

Mama Z: At 3 o’clock in the morning. I said, “What are you doing out here?” “Well, you said if we made our bed, we did that; if we brushed our teeth, and we get ready, and we put oil on our bodies and we washed our face and we ate our breakfast and we got everything ready, then we could get on our iPads and stuff.” And I said, “It’s 3 o’clock in the morning.” And they said, “Well, we don’t have a clock, and we don’t have any watches.” So, man, we ordered those Amazon Prime watches.

Dr. Z: They’ve got watches.

Mama Z: Those five-dollar watches.

Dr. Z: Esther sets her alarm at 3:30, by the way. I caught her. She sets her alarm for 3:30 in the morning.

Mama Z: She set her alarm for 1 o’clock in the morning the other day. And she goes, “Mom, I can’t fix it. It’s still at 1 o’clock in the morning.” I said, “Why did you set it for 1 o’clock in the morning. You’ve got to stop that.”

 

[1:11 – 1:48] Intro

Dr. Z: Hi! This is Dr. Z.

Mama Z: And this is Mama Z. And welcome to episode 23 of the Natural Living Family podcast.

Dr. Z: Each week we invite you to our home to talk about how you can master the art and science of natural living. And we share the very same tips our family uses each and every day to enjoy an abundant life. And you’re going to love today’s talk.

Mama Z: So, come on in and get comfortable. After all, you’re one of the family, our natural living family.

Dr. Z: But before we dive into all the fun today, we’re excited to share a special note about today’s sponsor.

 

[1:49 – 2:09] Sponsor Spotlight: Thrive Market

Mama Z: As a special gift to our Natural Living Family podcast listeners, Thrive Market is giving you twenty-five percent off your first order.

Dr. Z: Plus a free thirty-day trial. Simply go to NaturalLivingFamilypodcast.com to find the special link so you could redeem this deal on the show notes from today’s episode.

 

[2:10 – 6:45] Diffuser Reveal: Synergy Blend

Dr. Z: Well, hey there everyone. Welcome to the show. Today, we’re excited. This topic was birthed not only in prayer, because Sabrina has been praying a lot about this. This was birthed by a question that one of our Natural Living Family podcast subscribers submitted. And I was like, “Oh, this is a really, really good question. We’ve got to answer it.” And then we started talking about it. And it just developed into a really cool topic.

And this hopefully will be the first of a few topics that we talk about kids. We’re going to do a kids series. Today is “Raising Grateful, Hard-Working, Godly Kids.” And next week, if all goes well, we’ll talk about “Raising Healthy, Happy Kids.” And then we can kind of go on this kid track for a while, in the spirit of Natural Living Family and the spirit of summer vacations.

I hope you all are enjoying your summer vacation.

Mama Z: Yes, absolutely.

Dr. Z: I mean by now, it’s what, June 24 is when this is going to air. Everyone should be on summer vacation by now. And it’s fun. We’re about to take our family trip to Michigan and meet some of you. Well, actually, tell them about some announcements. Hey, I don’t want to get out of order here.

Mama Z: No, before we do that, we need to talk about what’s in the diffuser.

Dr. Z: What’s in our diffuser today? I chose this one.

Mama Z: Lime and bergamot, which was the two oils that you used the most when you were writing the first book. And also, they’ve been great when you and I have done interviews together to really synergize with one another. Prayer helps, too, of course.

Dr. Z: So, when I wrote The Healing Power of Essential Oils, it was back in 2017. I would escape, and I did it like two or three times. I would go up in the mountains of Georgia. We live in Georgia. And in the Blue Ridge Mountains, there’s a city called Blue Ridge. It’s really cool. It’s very trendy. It has everything. Like downtown shuts down at 5 or 6 o’clock. It’s one of those small towns.

Mama Z: It’s like it was a ghost town.

Dr. Z: It was. And everything shuts down on Tuesday.

Mama Z: You’re like, “There’s no food.”

Dr. Z: Like nothing is open. There’s like nothing. I went to the Ingles. That’s what they call it. It’s like their version of Publix or Kroger or whatever. You know, it’s not a Walmart. But it’s smaller than a Walmart but bigger than like your local grocer.

Mama Z: And didn’t you say it was like the traditional downtown in that they’re open on Saturdays, but then like Mondays, a lot of the stores are shut down?

Dr. Z: Yea. It was really interesting. So, I did a lot of my work at Ingles. But I would stay up there. And I had this cabin, and I just knocked out the book. Like my whole world revolved around it. Yea, I helped manage the business. And thank God we have a great team that really help take a lot of that off my plate. But I just like hunkered down and I wrote that book.

Mama Z: And I would get these random calls. They would be like at 11 o’clock at night, 9 o’clock in the morning, 2 o’clock in the afternoon. “What is the recipe for this?”

Dr. Z: Yea.

Mama Z: “What is the recipe for that? What is it?” And I’m like, “Man, he is in a zone right now. I better give him that recipe.”

Dr. Z: Yea. I had this blend. And I don’t know how I came about it. I actually do know, because I just got lime. And it was the first time I got lime ever. And I was like, “What’s this lime about?” I love lime. And I was kind of experimenting with bergamot at the time. And I was like, “Why don’t we try them both together.” And it was like Heaven for me. And that blend really propelled me through that experience.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: It’s very uplifting.

Mama Z: Well, I remember using lime in the kitchen. And you came in. And I knew you liked lemon. But when you came in, you were like, “What is that?” And you were like, “This smells good.”

Dr. Z: I dig lime. I like real lime, like juice, lime juice.

Mama Z: And we have a lime tree.

Dr. Z: Yea. Guacamole. Like lime is really cool.

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: And so, anyway, it’s nice because I fall back to this blend a lot. Like if I’m going through something and I need to be energized, I need to be uplifted, this is a blend that I just have a lot of memories, good memories, like I accomplished.

Mama Z: Get her done.

Dr. Z: Yea. So anyway, that’s what this is about. And so, it’s cool. What’s your blend? Let us know, right?

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: Tell us.

Mama Z: Try it.

Dr. Z: Email us. If you’re not on our newsletter, go to NaturalLivingFamilypodcast.com and subscribe.

We have thousands now. More than, at this point,15,000 people that just get the newsletter that says, “Hey, here’s the podcast.”

Mama Z: Cool!

Dr. Z: And that’s cool, show notes and transcripts. And we have infographics. And we have a lot of stuff that helps get the most out of the podcast. Plus, some really cool sponsor offers, too.

 

[6:46 – 10:03] Special Announcements

Dr. Z: Besides that, what are a couple of those announcements?

Mama Z: Yes, yes.

Dr. Z: Summer vacation.

Mama Z: Summer vacation. Then, if you are in Michigan, we will be doing a book signing July 6 at the Midland Barnes and Noble from 11 to 1. And then we don’t just like pack up and fly out of there. I think were there until like 2 o’clock last time when we did it. So, we’ll be there and hang out as long as people want to hang out. But last year I remember getting there, and there was like a line.

Dr. Z: Oh, it was fun!

Mama Z: And it was like non-stop the whole time.

Dr. Z: The home-town peeps. So, it was great.

Mama Z: But I was just telling the story, and this is so funny. And they have like a Jump World next door. And we had all the kids at the Jump World, because they like to watch the kids and jump while we were over there. And they hadn’t had any escapees, and I had asked about that. And then all of a sudden in the middle of our book-signing, Elijah came in with his little jump socks on. And he had escaped the Jump World next door.

Dr. Z: That’s scary.

Mama Z: That was scary.

Dr. Z: Yea, that’s scary.

Mama Z: And you looked at me like, “Oh my gosh, what is going on?” And I had to bring him back. And I was like, “Hey, we have a little bit of an escape artist here. You’re going to have to like make sure.”

Dr. Z: And watch them.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: “We’re paying you for babysitting. Keep your eyes open.” But anyway, bless their hearts. But my heart dropped. It was like anyone could have taken them. You know, here’s like this random five-year-old walking out by himself.

Mama Z: The good thing was it was next door. It was literally next door.

Dr. Z: It was. But still; and he knew where to go, though. That was cool.

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: I think he wanted cake, because we actually brought cake.

Mama Z: Yea, I had that allergy-friendly cake, because it was your birthday.

Dr. Z: It was. It was so cool. And in two weeks after that, the Michigan Lavender Festival in Imlay City. Like 30,000 plus people are going to be at this event.

Mama Z: Actually, that following weekend, July 11-13.

Dr. Z: Oh, the following week.

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: We are speaking and presenting no less than six times in three days.

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: Like we’re going to be at the big tent. Find the big tent in the center. We’re doing everything from exercise demos to cooking demos to lecturing and teaching. We are promoting and sharing everything from your Italian cooking class, your salads class, your exercise class, oour new book, The Essential Oils Diet. By the way, I’m super excited. It’s in Costco. That was kind of cool. You didn’t even know that.

Mama Z: No.

Dr. Z: Our book is in Costco, and everywhere. Barnes and Noble has got it front and center in the release section.

Mama Z: I love Costco. I think like half of my clothes come from Costco.

Dr. Z: I love Costco.

Mama Z: When I go to Costco sometimes, they all know me at Costco. And they’ll be like, “Oh, I like your outfit.” And then they’ll wink at me.

Dr. Z: Like you got it here. I hear it. I dig it.

Mama Z: Yea, Costco.

Dr. Z: Mama Z doesn’t allow me to go to Costco, because I come home with so much.

Mama Z: He will buy the first six things that are in the front door.

Dr. Z: I love that section.

Mama Z: So, one time he came home with a pool cart and like six ginormous noodles and like super soakers. It was like a dad cart. And he was like, “Yea, but this is the fun cart. Everybody is going to want to play in my cart.”

Dr. Z: And we use it. But you know it’s functional.

Mama Z: It’s just harder to park in the garage.

Dr. Z: No, it looks like a shopping cart, but it’s made for the beach, and it’s awesome. And we live three doors away from our community pool.

Mama Z: So, I don’t let him go to Costco.

Dr. Z: Yea, but everything I buy we use. It’s functional.

Mama Z: Yes, but we like to also monitor the budget.

Dr. Z: Anyway, I like buying stuff at Costco.

 

[10:04 – 16:52] Testimonial Time!

Dr. Z: Well, hey, we’ve got some good news. We have some great news. We have some fantastic testimonials and reviews I want to share with you. This is a good one. If you haven’t, leave a review.

I mean, wherever you subscribe to your podcast, leave a review. We love reading them. And this is one from MaryBR1971. And she gave us a five-star review. Oh, thank you! That’s so sweet. Here’s what she has to say:

“I love the podcast and how ‘real and transparent’ you two are. I love how you bring your faith into everything. It’s very inspiring. God is truly using you two for His greater purpose. And you’re not afraid to bring Him into the conversation. Most people in your situation would not. Thank you for all you do. And congrats on the podcast.”

Aww, thank you, MaryBR1971. I love that. And I love this for a couple of reasons. This is talking about the theme of “Raising Grateful, Hard-Working, Godly Kids.” You know, it’s kind of a shame that we’ve been acknowledged so much for bringing our faith into our business and our work. It’s a shame, because it’s not common like it used to be.

Mama Z: Well, and not only that, but you know, our publicist will sometimes say when we are talking with certain audiences that it’s not really recommended to talk about certain things, and keep it very open. But the good thing about that is one thing we all share in common is our testimony. And we’re able to share out testimony wherever we’re at.

Dr. Z: You know, it’s a shame that it has become somewhat taboo to share your faith.

Mama Z: I know, I agree.

Dr. Z: It is. It’s like we’re beaten over the head with this concept of tolerance. But you know, what’s happened is there’s reverse prejudice now. There’s a reverse stigma. It’s just been flopped upside down. It’s like, “Okay, y’all need to be tolerant of me and my lifestyle and what I want to do. And I’m going to preach it up and down, right?” And everyone’s like, “Yea, great!” You know, you did this. You share with everyone your lifestyle, and everyone is like applauding that. And then, we’re like we’re Christians. “Oh, don’t talk about that.”

And that’s wrong. And you know, here’s the thing. Whether someone is gay, whether someone is black, whether someone is white, old, young, whether someone is vaccinated or not vaccinated, whatever, I don’t care. Whether you use one brand of oils or another, that’s a big issue in our world.

Mama Z: Or whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat.

Dr. Z: Yea, don’t get me started on that.

Mama Z: It’s all the things that you don’t want to talk about at Thanksgiving. I think that’s what you always say, right?

Dr. Z: Yea.

Mama Z: You don’t talk about the essential oil brand you use, your political standing, or religion or anything else like that, hot buttons.

Dr. Z: Yea. And vaccines has become a huge topic. It’s now a political button. So, thank you, MaryBR1971. And everyone else, all these names, by the way. Just thank you. But not only that, let this be a lesson to all of us to share.

And I’ll never forget Kim and Gabe. You never met them. Kimberly and Gabriel, we called them Kim and Gabe, were elders of one of my first churches I ever went to. And I remember Gabe. He was a business man. He was a salesman. I remember him telling me, he always prayed at lunch during business meetings, always. And he told me always after he was convicted. Before that, he was embarrassed. He was ashamed. He like quickly bowed his head for five seconds to bless the food. And then he was like looking up, “Did anyone see me?”

And then God was like, “Why don’t you invite to see if you can invoke a blessing on the food?” And then he did. And it very much encouraged and inspired him. And he told me, he goes, “You know, we have to do this stuff. We just have to be us and not be ashamed of being us. But not only that, it’s a great witness and testimony.”

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: And no one ever says no. I’ve done the same thing. No one ever says, “Oh, yea, don’t bless my food. No, curse it.” You know what I mean. I think I’ve only had one person, and this person was very much in anger and hatred against God. I’ve only had one person in my life that I could even recall that said, “No, I don’t want you to pray for me.”

And who doesn’t want to be prayed for? Who doesn’t want to be blessed? Who doesn’t want to be encouraged? Who doesn’t want to be hugged? The deeply hurt, those people that are really, really in pain. And those people are relatively rare.

So, anyway, I’ll tell you, for those of you who do share our faith, a little secret, maybe a business tip. Just be open with yourself, as other people are open about their universe, right? Everyone talks about the universe now. Everyone talks about energy and send positive vibes, positive thoughts. What does that mean? Send me prayers. You know what I mean? I pray to God. I don’t ask the universe for guidance. You know, like all this socially acceptable language. But as a tip, I’m telling you something. We reap what we sow.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: And this what we teach our kids. Again, this is in context of how to raise grateful, hardworking, godly kids. Our kids see us. They see us praying all the time. They see us living this life. They see us arguing. But they see us make up. They see everything.

Mama Z: Yea, they see us talk through everything, because we’re real.

Dr. Z: And yea, and yell through things sometimes. I mean, we do. We get heated. And, you know, we’re very passionate people. And so, that’s something I’ve learned. But, to challenge you on this, God says, “You honor Me, and I’ll honor you.” And there’s an element where I’ve seen success. And I’m attributing this success to the level that we’re willing to be open with our faith. And we’re not ashamed of our Lord. Like Paul said, “I’m not ashamed of the Gospel.” It brings life.

Mama Z: And remember that song? I don’t know if you sang it. I know we did. “Are you going to hide your light under a bushel? No.” And that’s the thing. We want to make sure that our kids don’t either, because we’re never shy to pray for other people. And even in the car, I’ll pray over the kids. And then let them pray over each other. And you know, sometimes it’s like, “Lord, I hope that we all get green at school, please.”

Dr. Z: I hope I get a good snack.

Mama Z: But then like other things, you know, I remember Isaiah knowing that one of my friends had gone through chemotherapy, he’s like, “Mom, we need to pray right now for this person’s hair.” And I had no idea that it was something that was that important for them. But he started praying for her hair to grow. And within a couple of weeks, she said she felt like a chia pet. Her hair was growing. She was like, “Man, you just tell that Isaiah to keep on praying. It’s really working.” And it’s really cool that our kids are kind of sensitive to pray for people.

 

[16:53 – 24:17] Disciplining Our Children

Dr. Z: And one thing that I wanted to talk about today is a topic that is somewhat controversial, not only in the church, but in the world as a whole, discipline. And this topic today, this “Raising Grateful, Hard-Working, Godly Kids,” is and was one-hundred percent inspired by a question that one of you that are podcast subscribers had asked us. And here’s the question. She says, “One thing you guys haven’t mentioned yet is discipline, and how you manage your children, the ups and downs, the approaches, etc. Like everything in today’s society has discipline as being taboo. And I think it would be great to broach the subject.” She says, “I’m not sure if this aligns with a Natural Living Family topic. But I know that it’s a big one for families with children.”

Mama Z: I’m going to say a few things, too, regarding that.

Dr. Z: Yea.

Mama Z: You know, there are some situations where a time out is appropriate when we are disciplining. And as old as they are, I will put them for that many minutes in the corner; so, four and a half minutes, five minutes, seven minutes, eight minutes, whatever it is.

But one of the things that I’ve enjoyed doing is having them do different exercises while they’re in the corner. They’re like, “Well, the corner is boring.” And I’m like, “Well, part of it is you’re supposed to be thinking about stuff.” But I can do that and do other things. So, I’ve had them to do wall sits. I’ve had them do pushups. I’ve had them do burpees. I’ve had them do mountain climbers, and like a lot of different activities in the corner.

So, we’re at run club, and one of the coaches says, “Let’s do,” and Elijah would say, “Burpees.” And they say, “Oh, do you know what a burpee is?” “Oh yea.” And he would get down and do burpees. She was like, “How do you know that?” “I had to do it while I was in the corner, and it was really fun.”

Dr. Z: Hah, hah, hah.

Mama Z: So, you know, even though the corner is important, and there’s some thinking that has to go on in there, tying some of that to physical fitness has made it so they can learn how to multi-task, have their punishment, and then do something positive at the same time, too.

Dr. Z: I’ve come to the point where after I notice around five years old, I don’t like putting the kids in the corner at all. That’s like you’re in your bedroom. And I just tell them to go to bed. Like, “You go sit on your bed. You go into your bedroom. You’re going to be alone.” At least I have found the corner not being as productive unless they’re in like a room by themselves, because there’s so much going on. There’s music going on, or TV, or a kid doing homework with the baby crying, or there’s something.

But there’s an age, and you’ve got to find that age. But I find the corner, like Bella, man, she’s crushed. Like she’s almost three years old. You put her in the corner, her world just shuts down. And that’s all she needs. She’s like five seconds in the corner, and she’s like she knows it, and she just crumbles.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: And that is effective up to a certain point. But you have to find what works for your kids. But for us, I’ve really noticed, around five or six years old, the corner isn’t. Like Esther, she’s ten. Discipline for her is we take away her phone/iPod thing.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: She doesn’t actually have it. We should talk about this, too. But she does not have a phone yet. But I gave her my old phone, which acts as like an iPod. And if she can connect to the internet via Wi-Fi—

Mama Z: She can FaceTime me.

Dr. Z: Yea, games, or she can text. But taking her phone away is huge.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: And, you know, kids get smart when it comes to discipline. But you know what? There’s nothing wrong with spanking. And something we need to breach. And like the Bible says, “You spare the rod, you spoil the child.” I mean there has to be a threat of a greater punishment. And sometimes the corner, sometimes, you have to be wise with this.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: And this is where I come from a background where spanking was abused. And my family came from just a long line of a history of child abuse, just years and years and years. And so, I’m very, very sensitive.

And one thing I learned from my first pastor, Pastor C. L. Johnson, he actually taught about this. He had a great message. And he showed us his hand. He goes, “Never let your children see this hand,” especially young kids, because they don’t know any better.” Ten to twelve years old, that’s even too old, in my opinion, for a spanking. But when you’re spanking your kids, never let them see the hand, if you are going to spank them.

This is the hand that nurtures them, that loves them, that feeds them. You do not want a sign of nurturing, a sign of love, a sign where you caress their cheek, to be viewed as a weapon. And he was a Southern boy. He goes, “That’s why we used to go out and get the switch outside. And we used to give mama a stick. And she used to just give us a whipping on the bottom with something, whatever.” That’s what he said.

Mama Z: And so, you know I have the paint stick in the car. And then in a permanent marker I put, “the car spanker.”

Dr. Z: The car spanker!

Mama Z: It’s like a Home Depot paint stick. It’s only the threat of like the spanker really.

Dr. Z: I’m not a big fan of weapons. And I think that’s something, too. Again, this stuff can trigger things in a child. Like no belts, no spoons, no weapons. I mean some parents lose complete control. Like to me, if you don’t have the discipline to put your child over your knee, slightly pull down their pants where you see their underwear or bare butt and give them a nice little spanking with your hand, if you don’t have that discipline, if you don’t have the cool, if you’re just angry and you need to grab something to beat them, that’s what it sounds like. That’s what it is.

That’s not where you want to be. Again, different cultural things. But you know, there are some little signs in things, too. No welts. Like a little bit of redness on the bottom is one thing. But if you have black and blue marks, if you have welts, if you have things like that, that’s a sign that you went too far. And so, discipline should be incremental. And we need to, in a sense, like the punishment should fit the crime.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: And that’s something that we learn as adults.

Mama Z: Right. And really taking away the things that are most important to them are usually some of the best tools.

Dr. Z: Yea. We reserve spanking for the serious. Like, “Okay, you’ve had five chances. You’ve already been in the corner. What is wrong? Why won’t you listen?” And it’s like the ultimate threat, next to actually going to bed without dinner. That’s another one.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: That is next to that. And you know what? The older kids, that’s what I got. It’s like, “We’re not getting spanked.”

Mama Z: And then Isaiah is like, “What? I’m going to die if I don’t have dinner. I’m going to tell my teacher.”

Dr. Z: And then their vegetables

Mama Z: And I’m like, “You can have your vegetables. But then you’re going to bed.”

Dr. Z: Well, their vegetables become breakfast then, or something. Nobody is going to die by not eating dinner.

Mama Z: Yea. I mean we’ve fasted for way longer than that. And I’m like, “Guess what? I’ll tell your teacher exactly what you did and exactly what the punishment was.” And they’re like, “Don’t do that; anything but that. Don’t tell them.”

 

[24:18 – 28:34] Discipline Strategies for Different Ages

Dr. Z: Yea. I mean I’ve learned that there are different things that you do at different ages.

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: And that’s really important.

Mama Z: Yea. I remember when I used to ride my bike everywhere, like everywhere. When I got my bike taken away, oh man!

Dr. Z: Yea.

Mama Z: That was bad, because then I had to walk. And walking to school was a lot longer than a bike.

Dr. Z: Yep.

Mama Z: I just remember walking to friends’ houses. Oh, I couldn’t wait. And then when I had a moped, that was awesome. That was way faster than the bike.

Dr. Z: So, you know, there is this age of accountability. But in my opinion, I’ve seen around two and a half years or so, the kids are getting old enough to be disciplined. I’ve seen this in Bella, because she’s almost three. You know, something with Bella that I find is effective that you’ve done is kind of like a little smack on the back of her hand. Like, no, that’s wrong. And she just crumbles. She’s like, “Oh!” What is she doing? She keeps on throwing her food. “No, no! Stop throwing your food on the ground. You know better, Bella.” And she’s being obstinate.

Mama Z: Or she’ll look at you and take her tea and pour it on her plate while she’s looking at you.

Dr. Z: And she’s being stubborn about it.

Mama Z: And then she’s like, “Oops, I made a mess.” And then it’s like, “No, you didn’t. You did it on purpose.”

Dr. Z: Well, when you say, “No, that’s wrong,” and then she does it again.

Mama Z: Right. And does it again.

Dr. Z: And again, and again, and again. Like, “Honey, that’s wrong.” And you know, something. And it could be, one thing I have done with her in her high chair, I’ll turn her around. I’ll put her in the corner. Actually, I’ll put her in the spare bedroom in her high chair.

Mama Z: Yes. That’s a third offense right there.

Dr. Z: That’s like ultimate. Like put her in the spare bedroom.

Mama Z: Put her in a different room, backwards, by herself.

Dr. Z: By herself, and she’s screaming for like two minutes.

Mama Z: And then I’ll go in, and I’ll say, “Bella, your time hasn’t started yet, because you’re screaming. And we don’t scream like that.”

Dr. Z: And they have to understand what they’re doing. And she understands.

Mama Z: Yea, she understands. And I think it’s really important, because then I said, “Listen, if you stop screaming, you can serve your punishment in the regular corner.”

Dr. Z: And you know, just a couple of months ago when she was really fighting us to change her diaper?

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: It was like, “Stop! I have to change the diaper.” She just didn’t want her diaper changed.

Mama Z: Or she would roll back and forth.

Dr. Z: What I would do is I would like flick her with my finger, flick like her thigh, just something. And she would stop. Again, I didn’t hit her. I didn’t smack her. Just something. Just anything you could do in not being afraid.

Mama Z: I think a lot of times she wants to know, “Are you serious?”

Dr. Z: Kind of like a horse and bridle.

Mama Z: Yea. What was that, you know?

Dr. Z: Yes.

Mama Z: For just a second. And by then, she sees your face.

Dr. Z: And then you look at her sternly.

Mama Z: I need you to hold still. We’re changing your diaper right now.

Dr. Z: Kind of look when you’re training a dog. You know, a lot of people, whatever it is, whether the dog is peeing or pooping in the house. I’ve never had a dog. But I’ve seen people do it. And you let the dog see, and like, “No, this is wrong!” Or you spray the cat, and be like, “No, you don’t do this.”

Mama Z: Well, I’ll tell you.

Dr. Z: But you have to let them know, right?

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: But again, this is very simple. It’s very effective. But again, there’s no fear. And it’s not child abuse. And there is an age where maybe four, five, six, seven, that’s prime spanking age. After seven or eight years old, it’s like okay, they’re getting older now. And I’m not going to spank Esther. She’s ten. I mean she’s a young woman. What am I going to do? I’m not going to manhandle her.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: I mean seriously. And that’s what happens. That’s the problem as parents that lose their cool. And again, I get this. I’ve seen this first hand. As the kids get older, the next thing you know, they’re swinging and they’re hitting kids, like on the head. They’re smacking their face. It’s like now you’re beating them. And now you’ve become an abuser. Now it’s become abuse. And this is trauma. That’s where you have to be smart.

But at that age, Elijah is so sweet. He’s like six years old. And he knows when he pushes it. What he’ll do is he’ll pull down his own pants. He’ll bend over and he’ll just suck it up. But he’s at that age right now.

Mama Z: He’s never done that.

Dr. Z: Oh yea, he does. He’s not going to do that at ten, at eleven. Nor do I want to see his bare bottom at ten or eleven.

 

[28:35 – 33:27] What to Do After You’ve Disciplined Your Child

Mama Z: When I love it, though, is when you discipline, and then they want a hug.

Dr. Z: Oh, thank you! By the way, that is one hundred percent. Again, you never do this when you’re angry.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: Don’t discipline period. And if you have to, just say, “Go upstairs in your room…” Okay, if you have to just breathe, do it.

Mama Z: And do it like an eighties sitcom and come back up there a half hour later.

Dr. Z: You guessed it. This is total Kirk Cameron Growing Pains stuff. You have to always, always, always follow up the discipline with immediate love. And yes, right now the boys are in prime spanking ages. And they’ve gotten spanked probably once in the last three months.

Mama Z: What did they do?

Dr. Z: I forget. I just remember there was something. I mean, Elijah, it was just something wrong. I think, you know what it was? Disrespect to our nanny, Alex. And that’s something that’s zero tolerance for. Rudeness, disrespect, not listening, and fighting. And like stop and then say, “Look.” Actually, when Alex texts me and says, “The kids aren’t listening. I need help.” Like that’s bad.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: And I told her, because she never used to do that. I’m like, “Alex, when the kids are being really naughty, you let me know.” And I would go up to them, “I’m like done.”

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: When she reaches her limit, this is what she’s done. She’s worked with us for five years.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: When she reaches her limits.

Mama Z: Because sometimes they really need to hear from you.

Dr. Z: Oh yea. They need the father.

Mama Z: When I am doing correction and all of that stuff, it goes so far. But it’s like I find even with me, I’ll be like, “Eric, I need you to step in on this.”

Dr. Z: Well, that’s the threat, too, right?

Mama Z: Right, because like yesterday, don’t you remember? Isaiah got mad because his iPad wasn’t charged, which is not my responsibility. And he threw it down the stairs.

Dr. Z: I mean, he’s just eight years old. He just threw a fit, like a baby.

Mama Z: Yea, like that. And then he came and told me it was all my fault and that I was so horrible. And like just five minutes later, he had come and hugged me.

Dr. Z: Yea, he just went through his own little emotional turmoil.

Mama Z: A little meltdown there.

Dr. Z: But I took it away from him. I actually didn’t spank him. I sent him to his room. And I’m like, “You’re done.” Like there’s zero tolerance for this. And he was in his room, I forget how long he was in his room. But, you know, that’s where the discipline has to be followed up with explanation and love.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: So, here’s the thing. Especially if you spank, after four or five years old, the kids can understand. Three years old, they don’t get it. They’re just on reflex.

And here’s the other thing, too. This is key, y’all. You discipline at the moment that the crime happens. You know, the problem with our legal system of some people going to jail for something they did five years ago because of the legal system. You don’t punish a kid hours and hours later, unless they’re of an age; there’s a certain age. You don’t punish a toddler for something an hour ago, two hours ago.

Mama Z: They’re not going to associate that.

Dr. Z: No. For a child, late two’s, young three’s, maybe four, the punishment has to be immediate. If not, then you suck it up and you do your best to teach them. And be on guard, because if they do it again, it has to be quick. And then they associate it.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: But for older kids, five, six, seven, eight, nine plus, it can be like, “I heard you were naughty last night. I’m taking away your phone today, or no iPad this weekend.” “Oh, I get it.”

Mama Z: But isn’t it funny, too, that, you know, Bella has seen it enough that

Dr. Z: Yes.

Mama Z: Like she’ll go, “Esther, go to bed.”

Dr. Z: Yea, “Go to your room.”

Mama Z: “Go to your room, Esther.” But the other that part she’s seen is like after discipline, then she’ll like put her arms up and she’ll go, “Aww!” Like she wants to give you a hug.

Dr. Z: Yes.

Mama Z: And so, she’ll go, “Aww!” So, she knows and she is expecting.

Dr. Z: You have to hug them and love them and say, “I love you.”

Mama Z: Afterwards.

Dr. Z: “What you did was naughty. It doesn’t make you a naughty person.” That’s the other thing, too, oftentimes they’ll equate, “I’m a bad person.” No, no, no. You’re a good person. You love Jesus. You just made a bad decision.

Mama Z: Yes, absolutely.

Dr. Z: You made a poor choice.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: You discipline them. You walk them. And sometimes as parents we get so upset. You lose your cool. You need to step away from the situation before you do something that you regret. I’ve been a victim of people doing things that they regret later on in life. And that messes you up.

So, you need to keep your cool. You really do. And if you have, you apologize to your kids. I have. I’ve actually done things I shouldn’t have, and I’m like, “I’m sorry. I got too angry. I shouldn’t have done that.” You know, just something.

Mama Z: Yea, because I remember one time you were going to like take something away for like two weeks. And then you’re like, “Okay, maybe that was a little—”

Dr. Z: “You’re grounded for the rest of your life.”

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: “You can’t leave your room until you’re fifty.”

Mama Z: Okay, that’s a little steep.

Dr. Z: You hate it. You get angry, you know. But that’s what it is. So, I hoped this has helped a little bit.

 

[33:27 – 35:24] What About Potty Training?

Mama Z: Right. A side note to that would be potty training. And, you know, because people are always wanting to know what to do about potty training.

Dr. Z: You mean discipline wise, or just potty training in general?

Mama Z: Well, just is it a punishment? Is it this? And one of the things I think we’ve always tried to do is reach each one of our kids where they’re at. And, you know, make it so it’s fun. Like, Elijah will still, if I say, “What’s the potty song?” And he will rap it out: “Poop in the potty, and not in the pants. You got to poop in the potty, and not in the pants.”

Dr. Z: Hah, hah, hah.

Mama Z: And I had to train so much. With that one, we have every book. We have “Firefighters Even Go Poop.”

Dr. Z: That’s a good one.

Mama Z: We have every potty book that is available on Amazon and anywhere books are sold, because he just didn’t want to. So, like we had a routine where every time before naptime we would read, first it was all the books we had on potty training. And then we had so many that it was like the first third or the second third. And so, just really reach kids where they’re at and realize that it’s not like a punishment. You just have to reach them where they’re at.

And for him, when it clicked that he could put stickers on a chart—at first, he really didn’t care about it; but then he realized what stickers were. And that was super cool. Then he wanted to know like how many stickers he would earn for this or that. And then we made it something that he could earn. And then that’s when he really made it.

Dr. Z: Well, he came to an age where he needed to be punished, because he was on purpose hiding behind us and lying and going potty in his pullup when he shouldn’t have, and he was of age. You don’t discipline a two or three-year-old for not potty training.

Mama Z: Well, I mean Bella, she’s just starting to figure that kind of stuff out.

 

[35:25 – 38:14] Raising Kids that Are Responsible and Accountable

Dr. Z: But discipline is so huge, y’all. Like here’s the thing. Bringing it all back, we’re going to kind of transition here in just a minute to the second part of the podcast. But we’ve got to realize that we’re not orphans. And God tells us that we’re not orphans. And He disciplines us like a father disciplines his children. And we are admonished over and over and over again on how to properly discipline and how to properly love and treat our children. Never be taskmasters where they will become resentful, the Bible says, right?

And so, we do this. We discipline them for their own good so they will be upstanding citizens of the kingdom of God. And then not only that, but upstanding citizens of your local community. And they’ll respect laws, and they’ll respect rules. And they won’t be “spoiled brats.”

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: And the spoiled brats of our culture really are ruining a lot of what we have and hold dear.

Mama Z: And I have seen so many very, very successful adults that, you know, didn’t have to gut it out like their parents did. And they didn’t have that working it out stuff. And they weren’t able to be as successful. I mean their parents worked really hard, but some of the same parenting aspects. God has just shown me different stuff, just so that when we’re raising our kids that we tweak and make the effort to incorporate different strategies. You know, I think it’s really important that our kids learn that discipline and that sense of work ethic and all of stuff. And it all goes into the structure that we run our household.

Dr. Z: And they need to know there are consequences.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: I mean at the core of what we’re dealing with when we’re dealing with school shootings, when we’re dealing with kids that are in crime when they’re young teenagers, there’s a lack of accountability, and there’s a lack of consequences.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: And I’m just telling you flat out, and especially as God-fearing, Bible-believing Christians in the body of Christ, we should not be dealing with this stuff in our culture, in our homes. We shouldn’t. I believe it’s all on us as parents to raise our kids in the way where they honor authority, where they fear discipline in a healthy way. What about the fear of the Lord? What about the reverent fear of the Lord?

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: But also, the reverent fear of government and against the rulers that God put, the Bible says, in place to help keep us in order. And we want them to know, you reap what you sow. And we also want them to appreciate hard work and appreciate faith and so many things that will make them grateful, hard-working, godly kids. But before we cover that, though, a quick word from our sponsor.

 

[38:15 – 38:59] Sponsor Spotlight: Thrive Market

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Mama Z: Yes, from ingredients to snacks, it’s so awesome. And the kids go nuts.

Dr. Z: We love Thrive Market, the convenience, the price, and just the movement, because we know that every dollar spent goes towards a more sustainable, healthy, natural world. So, if you haven’t joined, then what are you waiting for? You’re going to absolutely love it.

 

[39:00 – 44:19] Incorporating Structure into Your Parenting

Mama Z: So, one of the things that I really enjoyed, you know how I mentioned that little potty ditty we would sing? It was when I helped out in children’s church. I worked in other areas, but they needed a helper for children’s church one day at our home church in Midland. And I remember Cheri Dilbeck singing, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” And then they would go over it and over it and over it. And I thought that’s a good little tune. I still remember it. I mean they went over it multiple times because that was the lesson for the day. That is a good thing to have in the back of your head.

And so, one of the things that I like to do is really, and my mom many years ago, and she still tells the story. But one of the things I saw, I said, “Mommy, are you pretending to dust?” Because I saw her up there with a cloth just kind of like waving it around, you know.

Dr. Z: How old were you?

Mama Z: I was probably young elementary, young, young elementary. So, my mom had explained to me and helped teach me about appreciating hard work. And she wasn’t just pretending. She was actually dusting.

Dr. Z: Pretending to dust. Are you doing anything up there? Hah, hah, hah!

Mama Z: Yea. Even though you don’t see the cobwebs, there are probably some cobwebs up there. And so I remember. And when she said, I still remember it, because she would remind us that we had said stuff like that. And it’s so important to learn about good chores. And one of the things that I think is really important that I do with the kids, because kids do like structures and discipline, even though sometimes they don’t say they do.

And one of those things is before I let the kids eat their breakfast, they have to be fully ready. Like their beds have to made. They have to fold their bedding, their blankies and their pajamas and that, or put them in the wash. And they have to do a series of things. And if it’s a school day, then they need to get their lunch boxes, unless Mr. Chris has his setup downstairs. Then that day they don’t have to go downstairs and get their lunchboxes. But then they have to pack their lunchboxes.

Dr. Z: We do honor that, Chris, by the way. Chris is our video and audio expert. And he’s like, “Hey, I’ve got my equipment downstairs for tomorrow’s shoot. Please, no kids.” So, we have a no kid rule downstairs in the basement in our studio.

Mama Z: Yea, so, but they have to load their backpacks, zip it up, and get it ready. A lot of times I have stuff all set out for them and ready before I go to my workout. Sometimes when I get back, they’re up, and sometimes they’re not up yet. And if they’re not, then I kind of have a cutoff time where they get up. But, you know, I do have at least one child that’s usually up really early.

Dr. Z: What’s up with that, by the way?

Mama Z: And it’s different times of the year.

Dr. Z: There’s always a kid up at 6:30, always one. It’s not fair.

Mama Z: So, the best time was when we were getting ready for my sister’s wedding last summer. And I got a call from China where we were getting our dresses.

Dr. Z: China?

Mama Z: China, in the middle of the night, okay?

Dr. Z: China called you.

Mama Z: It said China on there, you know. And they were talking to me like it was 3 o’clock in the afternoon. And probably it was or something. Anyway, they wanted to know what sizes I wanted for the ties, for boys and you. And you know, “You want adult tie?” And so, it was like 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning. So, I hear this noise. And I’m like, “Oh my gosh!”

Dr. Z: Was it Elijah?

Mama Z: No. We have animals outside in the garage. So, I go out there. The three of them were sitting in the car, on their iPads.

Dr. Z: All three? Hah, hah, hah!

Mama Z: At 3 o’clock in the morning. I said, “What are you doing out here?” “Well, you said if we made our bed, we did that; if we brushed our teeth, and we got ready, and we put oil on our bodies and we washed our face and we ate our breakfast and we got everything ready, then we could get on our iPads and stuff.” And I said, “It’s 3 o’clock in the morning.” And they said, “Well, we don’t have a clock, and we don’t have any watches.” So, man, we ordered those Amazon Prime watches.

Dr. Z: They’ve got watches.

Mama Z: Those five-dollar watches.

Dr. Z: Esther sets her alarm at 3:30, by the way. I caught her. She sets her alarm for 3:30 in the morning.

Mama Z: She set her alarm for 1 o’clock in the morning the other day. And she goes, “Mom, I can’t fix it. It’s still at 1 o’clock in the morning.” I said, “Why did you set it for 1 o’clock in the morning. You’ve got to stop that.”

Dr. Z: Yea.

Mama Z: Oh, this morning she goes, “It’s totally broke. It’s totally broke. It did not go off at the right time. It went off at 6:30.” Hah, hah, hah!

Dr. Z: Yea, exactly. Not waking her up at 3.

Mama Z: Yea, so anyway, now everybody has a clock. Everybody has a watch. And you know, they should know what time it is. However, we still have had some stranglers. Or Elijah gets hungry in the middle of the night and tries to come down for a snack.

 

[44:20 – 48:59] The Laziness Epidemic

Dr. Z: So, laziness is an absolute epidemic in children today.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: I think a lot of it is a lot of us are recovering from maybe being over-disciplined, over-chored. And I’ve seen this, what is it, the hippy, the baby-boom generation. That generation was kind of spoiled as a whole. I mean they changed the culture. They changed the music, the art, and the culture of everything that was about us.

And you’ve got to think, the World War 2 generation, the GI, the great generation they call it; that generation was disciplined. That generation was a lot of people, like in my family, first-generation Americans, people that their family immigrated from the old country. And they were firm. They were strict, a lot of stuff. There was a lot of abuse back then, a lot of abuse. This was before DFCS and all these organizations came around to help protect children.

And you saw, my father told me a lot about this. He was like a lot of his friends weren’t disciplined like he was. But there was still enough kind of discipline. And then when we came around, it was like, okay, we want to let open, to loosen. Like every generation wants to loosen it a little bit to give their kids “a better life than what they had.” But just because you had a lot of chores to do and had a lot of discipline, it doesn’t mean like that was a bad thing. And so, that’s one thing I really appreciate about you, because you’re not letting the kids off the hook.

Mama Z: No.

Dr. Z: They’re not lazy. We want let them be lazy.

Mama Z: No, not at all.

Dr. Z: And that’s not a bad thing.

Mama Z: And so, with my parents, they were both very disciplined. My grandma held a tight household. But a lot of the sports and stuff that they were involved in were very discipline oriented. And my mom, they were definitely disciplinarians as well. And so, one of the things that they would always say is, “We are disciplining you because we want you to be even more successful than us.” Like that’s the best day ever right there, if you’re more successful than us.

And so, it really taught me that in order to have children that can be even better than me, then I definitely need to hold that same standard. And that’s why Bella knows how to use the swivel sweeper at two-and-a-half-years-old. And she knows just what to do.

Dr. Z: Chores are so important. And they’re fun. The kids actually like to doing it.

Mama Z: Yea, because they’ll be like, “No, I’m going to do the swivel sweeper.” And then I have them wash the counter off after a meal, swivel sweep the floor, push the chairs back, fill their water bottles up. We make a homemade peppermint granite spray. And so, whoever does the granite spray, usually Esther because she loves it. So, she’ll do the granite spray. And then I’ll have her wash the dishes.

And if the kids did get up earlier and got out one of the blankets or if the blanket was left out the night before on the couch, then I’ll have them fold it up. And then, of course, I mentioned the bags and stuff like that. But they’re a part of all of that. And sometimes they’ll be like, “Why do we have to do all of that?” And, you know, I trained them. And I was like, “What does mommy say?” “You are not our maid.”

Dr. Z: Hah, hah, hah! I was going to say that. You are not their maid.

Mama Z: And so, I want them to know that I’m not. And they need to be able to do that. And you know what? I think I mentioned this in like another episode. I remember asking our cleaning lady, because we had a cleaning lady. I remember asking her if she liked scrubbing toilets.

Dr. Z: When you were a kid.

Mama Z: Yes. She told me, “If you have a mind for it, you can enjoy every job.” And so, I remember asking my dad to scrub the toilets, or maybe he did. “Well, how about Saturday?” She came on Tuesdays, so Saturday, maybe the half-way point, I guess.

Forever, I thought I was the best toilet scrubber in the whole world. I could have been the worst one ever. I would never know, because I got so praised. Or maybe it’s just that they didn’t want to do it.

Dr. Z: Exactly.

Mama Z: But I thought I was so good at it. And, you know, I want the kids when they are good at something, I want them to know that they’re good at it. And I watch them, because they’re good at watering. They’re really good at watering. They’re good at doing some of the gardening stuff. Like Esther is really good at picking peppers. And this year she’ll start to pick more of the tomatoes. Last year she had picked some non-ripe ones.

 

[49:00 – 50:59] Assigning Age-Appropriate Chores

Dr. Z: And then start picking the flowers. Like you know, this is one thing, age-appropriate chores.

Mama Z: Age appropriate.

Dr. Z: And we talk about this our “Toxic-Free Healthy Home Makeover.”

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: And you could go to NaturalLivingFamily.com/homemakeover. And you can get a free viewing of this. And it’s really wonderful. It’s Sabrina walking you through our kitchen, laundry, pantry, garden, and bathroom. And she shows how we detox.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: But we wanted to give you a little tip on child age-appropriate chores. And that’s something, too. Don’t let them off the hook, because they need to realize that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. It doesn’t matter how rich or poor you are, we all have to work. And we need to set that discipline so they’re not going to be lazy.

But again, we’re talking today about being grateful, hard-working, godly kids. And we chose these three topics because there is an element of gratefulness, thankfulness. Like when they have to do work, they’re thankful more. And we let them know like, “Yes, thank God we work hard. And we get to play hard.” Like that’s one thing I like to teach them. You work hard and you play hard.

Mama Z: Right.

Dr. Z: And so, after we do a big project and we make a couple of extra dollars, we’ll take a trip to Disney, or something like that. I’m like, “Look, if you work hard and if you discipline yourself, you get these rewards. And you get to enjoy.” God tells us, “Hey, enjoy the fruit of your labor.” And there is an element where we’re not wasteful. We enjoy things that are within our budget. And we want them to be grateful and thankful for what they have.

And part of that is discipline. And the other part is chores. And most importantly, though, is appreciating faith. And this is something that we’re going to end with today, is again having a grateful heart, being hard-working, being godly children, how to raise these children up. It’s all combined into one. This is all part of the process. And leading by example is so important to essentially win our kids over for Christ.

 

[51:00 – 51:59] Your Family Is Your Primary Ministry

And, you know, this will hit home for some ministers who neglect their family to serve the world. But our children, our families, your spouse, they’re your primary ministry. And I recognize that I really do. And I’ve seen some pastors completely neglect their kids, because they’re trying to “reach the world.” And their kids end up being like hellians, like Eli in the Bible.

And we’ve got talk a little bit about Eli. Whatever happened to Eli? His kids weren’t disciplined. His kids were running rampant, and they were involved in all kinds of adulterous sex. And they were doing crazy stuff back in the Old Testament. And his family line was cursed. He could have been chosen of God for many, many years and generations. But he didn’t discipline his kids. He didn’t raise his children up in a way where they appreciated the faith, and they didn’t obey God’s laws. And they lived horrible rampant lives, bad, bad, stuff.

And we see these time and time again in the Bible.

 

[52:00 – 56:23] Mike’s Story

And so, tell us about Mike’s story, our handyman, Mike. We are trying our best to lead our kids to Christ by living the Christ-like lifestyle. We don’t baptize our kids when they’re infants. That’s something I don’t believe. It’s something that if you do, it’s not a bad thing, per se. But it’s relatively, in my opinion, useless unless the kids make the decision, right? So, I also don’t push the kids, talking about baptism.

Mama Z: And we’ve had the kids dedicated when they were about a year old.

Dr. Z: Right. But baptism is a public declaration of your faith.

Mama Z: And they need to be able to choose.

Dr. Z: But we’re not pushing them, “Hey, you’re four or five or six years old.”

Mama Z: And Esther really wants to get baptized.

Dr. Z: And she’s ready. And she accepted Christ in the last year and a half. She knows her birthdate, her spiritual birthdate. But, you know, she’s again at that age. And we hope and pray that she will continue and never look book. And so, I’ve seen a lot of behavior in her. I’m like, “Well, this is how you should be acting. You say you’re a Christian now. You say you serve the Lord.” But just because they’re raised in our home doesn’t make them followers of Christ.

Mama Z: They’ve got to have a faith for themselves.

Dr. Z: Yes, and we’re trying to lead by example. And what are some ways that we do it?

Mama Z: Yea, so, if any of the kids have something going on, whether it’s physically or spiritually or whatever, we’re going to pray about it. And we’ll pray together about it. And you know, our handyman, that’s one of the things he really appreciates about us is that not only will we pray with him if he needs something. Or if he’ll share something, we’re like, “Hey, can we pray?”

Dr. Z: What did he say, though? There’s a special story, though. It touched my heart.

Mama Z: He’s like, he said, “I know I can ask you guys at any time to pray, and you’ll pray.” And he said, “But it was the coolest when you guys didn’t know I was already here. But the door was unlocked, because you guys were ready for me, because I came. So, I came in. And I came in and Eric was praying over one of the kids. They weren’t feeling good. And he laid hands on him and prayed over him.” He was like, “That just touched my heart so much that you would take time out to pray over your kids. How important that is, and it was a great example for me, too.”

Dr. Z: He has mentioned that several times.

Mama Z: Yep.

Dr. Z: We have been so blessed with Mike.

Mama Z: And it’s kind of cool, because, you know, one of the people that he does some jobs with, we had the chance to pray over him in the kitchen. And he has since that time really made an awesome relationship with the Lord and is just on fire serving God. And it’s really cool.

And he even said to me on the phone when I was checking in with Mike over some parts or whatever. He’s like, “Guess who I’m with right now?” And so, anyway, I got a chance to pray over both of them.

Dr. Z: Oh really, cool.

Mama Z: Yea. And he said, “I remember that day that you guys prayed over me in the kitchen and all that stuff. And I just want you to know that I love the Lord, and all these things are going on.” And I’m like, “That is so cool.”

Dr. Z: Oh, the Jewish granite guy.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: He was Jewish, tile. I forgot about that. So, yea, he got something. He fell. He had surgery.

Mama Z: But we were told.

Dr. Z: He was doing tile work.

Mama Z: He was worth waiting for. They said, “Do you want a good job, or do you want a great job? If you want a great job, you’ve got to wait a month.” And I’m like, “Well, I want a good job.”

Dr. Z: Yea, so a local tile guy, like a really, really good, well-known in our local area guy who does tile, great handywork. You see our kitchen backsplash. Everyone always comments on it.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: But again, we prayed for him.

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: And that was a seed that was planted. And over the last couple of years, Mike, our handyman who loves the Lord, he has been kind of ministering to him, sharing Christ, because he’s an evangelist at heart.

Mama Z: Oh yea.

Dr. Z: And he led this guy to Christ. But you know what? The thing about it, he was so touched by the fact that we prayed for him. And he was like, “That was what started it.” And it was really cool. Like Paul says,

Mama Z: You just never know whether you’re planting, watering, or harvesting.

Dr. Z: Exactly. “Apollos planted. I watered,” Paul said.

Mama Z: Speak in season and out of season, because you never know.

Dr. Z: We’re part of all that stuff.

Mama Z: Yea.

 

[56:24 – 1:01:49] Giving Your Kids the Legacy of Faith

Dr. Z: And so, we’re trying to raise them with the legacy of faith. And I’ll tell you, though, they are children who hold us accountable, and we have to watch out what we say, what we do. Like we mentioned, we will mention, many, many times we will let them see us argue, but we will also let them see us smoochie kiss and make up. And they call it “moochie kisses.”

Mama Z: Yea. And every time we moochie kiss—

Dr. Z: Like, “Oh, moochie kiss.”

Mama Z: Elijah will go, “Oh, are we going to have a baby boy or baby girl?”

Dr. Z: Hah, hah, hah! Like that’s not how it happens yet.

Mama Z: Hah, hah, hah!

Dr. Z: But I’ll do the whole 1930s, 1940s dip. I’ll dip her down and I’ll smooch her and we’ll moochie kiss.

Mama Z: Yep.

Dr. Z: But they’ll see us. And we try to use that as a learning experience. But you know, we try not to push anything on our kids. We really don’t.

Mama Z: Right. And anything of the important stuff, we try to talk privately about, of course.

Dr. Z: And we want to explain to them God’s ways. And one thing I love, I don’t do it a lot, but I love taking them to school, I love picking them up, because it’s just us in the car for a few minutes. And it’s a lot of teaching and a lot of opportunities. I like that time when we can be alone. And we just explain God’s Word. And they have questions. And some of them are like, “Why this? Why that?” Like we’re getting more the “do dogs go to Heaven” questions kind of thing, which is kind of cool. Like, “What’s Heaven like?”

And so, we are really trying. And one thing that helps, the kids do go to a Christian school, which helps. Like that reinforces.

Mama Z: Yes.

Dr. Z: And if you can afford it, we highly encourage you to do it. And some are more expensive than others. And the school that they go to is actually subsidized by the church. So, they make sure that it’s affordable.

Mama Z: It’s part of their ministry.

Dr. Z: It is. It’s really cool.

Mama Z: And you know, even before we could afford it, we just, instead of getting presents for Christmas from my folks, that is what we had asked. We really wanted them to have a good atmosphere.

Dr. Z: Preschool, right? Go to like Christian preschool.

Mama Z: Yep.

Dr. Z: A couple hundred bucks a month.

Mama Z: Yep. And they were like, “Yea.” Education is a big thing for my family. So, that was something that they were all on board with. I mean, hey, what better way to sow into the family than use that as a Christmas gift for us and the kids like that.

Dr. Z: Your parents have been such a blessing in so many ways.

Mama Z: Absolutely.

Dr. Z: You know, I hope and pray and plan on doing the same.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: So, folks, the crux of it all is, you know, sometimes what we do doesn’t seem like it’s effective with our kids. But it is, especially sowing into their lives consistently, because they see, they listen, they pay attention, and they know.

Mama Z: Yea.

Dr. Z: And I’ll tell you, I don’t know what else to say. I don’t think I could have a better relationship with the kids personally.

Mama Z: Yea, I agree. And you know, especially because we spend a lot of time with them. And especially whether it’s activities or it’s other things like that, you know, we know our kids, and we have their heart.

Dr. Z: Yea. And so, when it’s time to discipline, they understand it. And they’re like, “Oh man, I messed up.” And sometimes I’ll just say, “Suck it up. This is what you get. Let’s get it over with.”

Mama Z: And I think I mentioned on a previous podcast, like Isaiah, he messed up. And I said, “Listen, all I want to hear from you is, ‘Mom, I really messed up, and I’m sorry.’”

Dr. Z: Yes.

Mama Z: And so then, later on that day, he did something, and it was like minor compared to what he did. And he comes up to me and he’s like, “Mom, I really messed up, and I’m sorry.”

Dr. Z: I love it. I love it, y’all. I hope this has been encouraging and inspiring. I hope we’ve been able to at least pass along. You know, the thing about it is, Sabrina is the result of a very healthy, happy, well-balanced childhood; mine not so much. And so, you get a chance to learn from my experiences, trying to do better than what I think should have been done.

And you have Sabrina, who really oftentimes is duplicating what her mom and dad did in a lot of areas. Like Sabrina doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel; and so, being able to glean from that. Whether you can identify with me and my childhood, or Sabrina and hers, we pretty much can relate to any childhood at this point.

And that’s the special thing is how we’ve come together. And as parents, you have to be patient with one another and talk through a lot of this. And sometimes, we still disagree on discipline and argue on how to raise the kids and chores and things. But we are becoming more and more and more, especially the more kids we have, the more practice.

Mama Z: I don’t think on chores, though, I don’t remember us ever arguing about chores.

Dr. Z: Well, not really arguing. But like I want to do this. Well, whatever, just little stuff. Like, I’m just trying to say we’re getting more in sync.

Mama Z: Oh yea, always.

Dr. Z: As we have now been married thirteen years. We have four kids, like we’re just more in sync.

Mama Z: We’ve had a lot of practice.

Dr. Z: Well, it took more time, yea. So, be patient with your spouse. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your kids.

Mama Z: Grace, grace.

 

[1:01:50 – 1:02:57] Natural Living Tip: Create a Chore List!

Dr. Z: And considering patience, to wrap up today’s show, we have a special natural living tip for you.

Mama Z: Yes.

Mama Z: So, for parenting tip chores, start writing a list down, or get a board that you can have all the different chores that they have. They have ones out on the market that you can put little magnets to, or little stick-on things that they got their chores done for each day. But write each one down. If you don’t remember it, or if you definitely have quite a few things that the kids can do, then they need to know what chores need to be done and who is going to do which chores.

So, some type of chart that would be really best-suited for your family where you are at right now. And then reevaluate that every year, because as the kids grow, they’re able to do more things, able to do different things. And so, really make sure that you have it tailored, not just for the children, but for the home, and, of course, age-appropriate.

 

[1:02:58 – 1:03:40] Sponsor Spotlight: Thrive Market

Dr. Z: As a special gift to our Natural Living Family podcast listeners, Thrive Market is giving you twenty-five percent off your first order.

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[1:03:41 – end] Episode WrapUp

Dr. Z: Thank you for listening today. We hope you enjoyed the show. As a reminder, you can find all of the Natural Living Family podcast episodes, show note, transcripts on NaturalLivingFamilypodcast.com. And while on our website, don’t forget to sign up for our weekly podcast newsletter, which includes a personal invite to join our private Facebook group, so you can connect with Mama Z and me one on one and meet thousands of other natural living lovers just like you.

And don’t forget, please subscribe to our podcast, and leave a review. We love hearing what you have to say about our show. And who knows? We might pick your review to read on the next episode. And as always, this is Dr. Z.

Mama Z: And Mama Z.

Dr. Z: And our hope and prayer are that you and your family truly experience the abundant life. God bless y’all.

Mama Z: God bless!

Dr. Z: Bye, bye.

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